


Sanditon: Episode 9

by MissToni



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen
Genre: F/M, Happy Ending, Meant To Be, Sidlotte - Freeform, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-02-07 07:07:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21454009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissToni/pseuds/MissToni
Summary: Willingden, two weeks later: Lady Susan is taking matters in hand, inviting Charlotte to London, because: "In love and in war, a first defeat never indicates what the final outcome will be." But even in London, all roads lead back to Sanditon and Sidney Parker, and soon enough, Charlotte finds herself back to sea-bathing, cliff top walks and Lady Denham's luncheon parties.With Mrs Campion's wedding just a few days away, can true love prevail when a farmer's daughter who reads books is up against the wealthiest widow in the country?
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood & Sidney Parker, Charlotte Heywood/Original Character(s), Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker
Comments: 122
Kudos: 404





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This piece of fanfiction is greatly indebted to the wit, the genius and the spirit of Miss Jane Austen, and the imagination of Mr Andrew Davies.

_»He’s a conundrum_ _.«_

_»But even a conundrum can be solved.«_ _ \- and since the last twenty minutes of Episode 8 left me with a major conundrum, I decided to solve it. _

***

_Two weeks later_

A lady travelling from Tunbridge towards the Sussex coast caused quite a stir among the good people of Willingden once her carriage had left the high road and turned into a very rough lane that led to the only gentleman’s house in the area.

Mr Heywood, as was the gentleman’s name, advanced the carriage with a very civil salutation and some surprise at the identity of the visitor, who presented herself as Lady Susan, come from London to see her very particular friend, Miss Charlotte Heywood – his daughter. Mr Heywood, trying to give the impression of a man used to great ladies travelling all the way from the capital in order to see one of his many children, led her into the house, offered her the best chair of the drawing room, sent his wife for refreshments and his daughter Alison to fetch her sister who, since returning from the seaside resort of Sanditon two weeks earlier, had shown a certain inclination to long and solitary walks among the fields.

There was no doubt that Charlotte had enjoyed the most exciting holidays in Sanditon, and there was also no doubt that she had returned grown up and refined, a true young lady. But least of all was there any doubt at all that something had happened to her while away, something that muted her natural optimism and activity and quite extinguished the sparks in her fine brown eyes.

Her parents suspected a matter of the heart, but Charlotte wouldn’t talk to either of them. Shortly before her return and under an oath of secrecy, Alison had murmured something about the most wonderful news her sister expected to share soon, but as it turned out, the most wonderful news was not a dashing young gentleman asking for her hand in marriage, but Charlotte herself, coming home to be reunited with her family.

And now there was a great London lady sitting in Mr Heywood’s drawing room, calling his daughter her very particular friend. Yes, the lady had featured in Charlotte’s tales from Sanditon, but merely as a supporting character: as the dea ex machina who saved Mr Tom Parker’s regatta. Yet Mr Heywood had not expected that this good deed qualified for a very particular friendship with his daughter. Charlotte had enough other friends in Sanditon: dear Mrs Parker, who suffered the never-ending whims of her husband with the patience of an angel, Miss Lambe, the unhappy heiress from Antigua, and young Mr Stringer. For a while, Mr Heywood suspected him to be responsible for Charlotte’s heaviness of spirit, but then he had realised that it was not the recollection of Mr Stringer’s kind and handsome face that made her smile whenever she spoke of him, but the memory of his building activities.

It must have been quite a society at Sanditon, and sometimes Mr Heywood wondered how his dear girl, who only in her books had ever ventured further away from Willingden before, had managed when meeting the terrifying Lady of the town, Lady Denham. Or how she had stayed away from Lady Denham’s two-faced niece, Clara Brereton, who had engaged in the most scandalous schemes with her aunt’s heir, Sir Edward Denham, a truly dangerous rake.

There seemed to be decent people, too, like Mr Tom Parker’s youngest brother, Mr Arthur, who apparently hid a heart of gold behind a facade of general buffoonery, and his very dear, but very sickly sister, or the chivalrous Lord Babington, whose simple goodness and honesty had melted the heart of Sanditon’s ice queen (always causing sighs among Charlotte’s sisters when she came to this part of the tale), or the Reverend, who never failed to show his admiration for the unhappy Miss Lambe’s blushing governess, or Mr Crowe, who was mostly drunk but always ready to offer a sober opinion.

The only character Mr Heywood was unable to make out was the middle Parker brother, Mr Sidney, the unhappy Miss Lambe’s guardian, and as such greatly responsible for her unhappiness. Apparently, he also played a key role in promoting sea bathing in Sanditon. Otherwise he popped up only very occasionally for a game of cricket or a rowing race, being most of the time detained elsewhere, following his businesses here, there and everywhere. He seemed altogether far too elusive to play any role at all in Charlotte’s adventures, and yet his fatherly instincts told Mr Heywood that he was missing part of the tale here. And now this visit from a great London lady: It was a conundrum he couldn’t solve.

»Susan!« There she was, Charlotte, with a fresh red colour on her cheeks from running, and a smile on her lips, looking happier than ever before during the last two weeks. And talking to the lady as if they were particular friends indeed, no »my lady«, but her Christian name! And the lady taking Charlotte’s hands and exclaiming: »My dear girl! I’m so pleased to see you! – Shall we go for a walk?«

»Yes,« Charlotte said, »I’d like that very much.«

She took her friend across the bridge and to the path she had walked on her own before, and once they were out of earshot and even the most persistent of the Heywood siblings had given up following them, Lady Susan demanded: »Now you must tell me e–ve–ry–thing.«

And Charlotte told her everything.

How Mr Sidney Parker had come to Tom’s office late that evening after the regatta, saying that he knew he was a great deal less than perfect, but that he believed he was his best self, his truest self when he was with her. How she had spent a sleepless night, trembling, hoping, wondering, reliving that one moment, longing for the next day and fearing it all the same. How that next day, they had walked up to the cliff top, Sidney Parker babbling sheepishly (imagine Sidney Parker, of all men, babbling sheepishly) about the weather and its influence on the midsummer ball, until finally, after some more awkward talk, he had whispered her name and kissed her.

How at the ball that night his eyes had followed her through the room while she was dancing with Mr Stringer, how they had been kept apart time and again during the evening, until by a silent agreement they had managed to sneak away and meet on the balcony where their story had begun. How he had taken her hands and said that he had never wanted to put himself into someone else’s power before, that he had never wanted to care for anyone but himself, how he had started saying her name – just when Sir Edward Denham made his final, scandalous appearance in Sanditon society, and how Lady Denham had asked Sidney to take him away.

And how, just when the general excitement about Sir Edward had calmed down, Miss Parker had raised the alarm about the fire in the terrace buildings. How they had worked to extinguish the fire but couldn’t save anything but the outer walls. How Mr Tom Parker had confessed that there was no insurance on his beautiful construction works, and that he was now facing bankruptcy and the debtor’s prison for his family. How Sidney had gone to London, still hopeful to continue the interrupted conversation on the balcony on his return, and had come back as the saviour of Sanditon and his brother, and the fiancé of Mrs Eliza Campion, the one being the price for the other. And how he had followed Charlotte’s carriage for a final good-bye that had only deepened the wound.

»How simply shocking!« Lady Susan exclaimed. »And they bundled you up and sent you home?«

Charlotte folded the handkerchief away which she needed after living through all this again. »Well, there was no point in my staying there, with all the troubles they were facing.«

»No, certainly not. You’ve become quite the tragic heroine, my dear girl. But remember: In love and in war, a first defeat never indicates what the final outcome will be.«

»What do you mean?«

»I don’t expect you intend to leave the man you love – and who loves you – in the clutches of … _that_ lady?«

»But what can be done? Even if the most generous investor turned up, ready to pay the eighty thousand, he’d still be engaged to her, and there is no way he can break the engagement.«

»No, that, of course, is the lady’s privilege, as she has proven before. – So,« Lady Susan stopped and looked around her, »we’ll just have to find a way to make _her_ break the engagement.«

»But how can that be done?« Charlotte asked, at the same time curious and afraid of that little tiny hope that suddenly beat in her heart. »How could I ever face them again after being humiliated like that?« She had to reach for her handkerchief again.

»Humiliated! No, my dear girl, you’re not humiliated. You have been wronged in the cruellest way, and you’re hurt and heartbroken, which is your very right to be. And you are right to complain about your fate, because those who do not complain are never pitied. But you’ll come through this, polished and strengthened. And now that the first moment of shock is over, it’s time to survey the troops, bring in the reinforcements and rethink our strategy.«

Despite her tears, Charlotte had to smile. »I think you would have made an admirable general.«

»And so would you, my dear. Do not despair. None of us wants to be in calm waters all our lives.«

When they returned to the house, Lady Susan announced to Mr and Mrs Heywood that she was going to take their daughter to London, to enjoy her company and to introduce her properly to polite society. Charlotte’s parents agreed immediately. With twelve children to raise and to navigate into the safe harbours of suitable marriages, they knew one did not protest when a great London lady turned up like the good fairy and offered to bring out one of the girls in London society. It is a truth universally acknowledged that an educated girl, introduced properly to the world, has the best chances of settling well, without any further expense to anybody, and Charlotte, her parents believed, was about to become further proof of that wisdom.


	2. Chapter 2

Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love, and that proved to be true for Charlotte as well. Although she hadn’t liked London during her first visit a few weeks before, her spirits returned in Lady Susan’s company. Her friend resided in a great house in Mayfair, and Charlotte was free to join her in her outings – and as free to stay at home or visit a book shop if she wished to. Within a week her eyes had regained enough of their sparkle to make Lady Susan ask her whether she would accompany her to Mrs Maudsley, who was holding one of her famous masked routs that very night. Charlotte, the memory of Mrs Maudsley’s last rout suddenly fresh in her mind, hesitated. »But … what if _they_ are there too?« she asked.

»Well, first of all, you are going to wear a mask, my dear.«

»That’s very little protection,« Charlotte said.

»And apart from that, I’ve heard that _they_ have gone to visit friends on their estate.«

»I thought they were busy with their … wedding preparations.« It was hard to say those two words, but once they were out, Charlotte felt better: The facts were undeniable, and the earlier she got used to them, the better.

»Apparently he asked for a time-out to see a friend. We may interpret that as it suits us, my dear.« Charlotte realised that it didn’t suit her at all, because it meant that Sidney didn’t rush the marriage because he was unhappy, and that was the very last thing she wanted him to be. But then on the other hand she didn’t want him to be married to _that _lady either. Heartbreak, she realised, had in fact the potential to make one go mad.

At Mrs Maudsley’s it was as hot, crowded and noisy as Charlotte remembered it from her last visit, but this time she enjoyed wearing her mask, hiding behind a piece of cloth that transformed her from a gentleman farmer’s daughter into a mysterious young lady who could be anyone: a rich heiress from the West Indies – a duke’s lovechild – a foreign princess in disguise. That is, she enjoyed it until the very moment a slim gentleman with rather unruly brown curls turned up in front of her, breathed out a cloud of brandy and said in a somewhat shaky voice: »I daresay, you are the spitting image of Charlotte Heywood.«

»That is probably because I am Charlotte Heywood, Mr Crowe.«

»No way!« Mr Crowe, instantly sober, took a step back. »Miss Heywood! That’s a surprise! We all thought you’d crawled back to that rabbit hole where you’d come from.«

»Going home was merely a stopover on the way to London.« Talking to Mr Crowe was easy. He never took offence and was always as honest as only drunkards can be. »Are you not here with your friends, Mr Crowe?« she asked. There was a time not too long ago when Mr Crowe had never attended a social event without Lord Babington and Sidney Parker by his side.

»Oh, my friends! They’ve moved on to become ordinary and very boring and respectable husbands and fiancés with no more time and interest in carousing and drinking.«

Charlotte wasn’t sure how much Mr Crowe knew about her attachment to Sidney. Lord Babington had been in the secret at the midsummer ball, she knew that, but Mr Crowe had been absent that very evening. Apart from that he wasn’t the best person to be trusted with matters of the heart anyway. »I think Lord Babington and Miss Denham are exceptionally happy together,« she carefully said.

»And happy as lovebirds they may be. I don’t expect as much for Sidney and his treasure chest. Do you?«

»I … I wish them every happiness.«

»You’re too kind,« Mr Crowe said with a sigh.

»So you don’t expect to see them here tonight?« She had to make sure.

»No. They’ve all gone to Babbers’ estate and forgotten to take old Crowe with them.« That matched exactly with what Lady Susan had heard about seeing friends in the countryside. Charlotte felt quite relieved. Whatever Susan said, facing either Sidney or _that _lady unprepared would re-open a wound that had left her deeply scarred already.

»I’m quite pleased that they have forgotten you, Mr Crowe,« she said with honest sympathy.

»Well, if that was a compliment, it should earn you a dance, Miss Heywood. – Or would you rather not?«

»There’s nothing like dancing to restore one’s spirits.« She smiled, and when Mr Crowe led her to the dance floor, she saw Lady Susan smile and nod her approval, too.

Mr Crowe was an accomplished partner, as Charlotte well knew, and she actually did enjoy herself. Not quite as much as the last time she had graced this dance floor, but enough to leave her breathless when the music ended and they bowed to each other.

»Thank you, Mr Crowe.« She fumbled to remove her mask, as it had become rather too hot and uncomfortable under the stiff cloth.

»My pleasure, Miss Heywood. – Never quite understood what Sidney finds in that treasure chest, you now. Apart from the treasure, that is. Told him early on that I thought you had quite a spunk about you – but he wouldn’t listen.«

Charlotte felt herself blush. However, her mask was off now, and the embarrassment had to be born openly. »I don’t think that Mr Parker is the sort of gentleman who likes to listen to anybody’s advice, Mr Crowe.«

»Yeah, least of all that of a drunkard friend. That’s the unflattering truth.« He seemed to be genuinely saddened. They had nearly reached the sofa where Lady Susan was waiting for her friend. Charlotte decided that she had had enough for one evening, and that she would ask to be allowed to return to Mayfair very soon – but just then fate had another surprise for her in store. At first, it was only the expression on Lady Susan’s always well-composed face that changed. Apparently, something was going on behind herself and Mr Crowe, but before she could finish the thought, a voice said her name – a voice she had hoped never to hear again, a silver voice that sent a shiver down her spine and pierced her heart with a hundred icicles.

»Miss Heywood!« _that _lady’s voice said. »It is you, isn’t it? I thought it had to be you.« Charlotte stopped dead on her heels, and so did Mr Crowe. Lady Susan had risen from the sofa and moved closer.

»Mrs Campion,« Charlotte said, turning around, endlessly grateful for the support of Mr Crowe’s arm. There was nothing to do but to keep a polite face, act civilly and not hammer her with one of the artificial trees that Mrs Maudsley mistook for fashionable decoration.

»Miss Heywood! We all believed you had returned to the wilderness of Sussex. Don’t you dislike London society?«

»I may dislike London society, but I don’t dislike my London friends,« Charlotte replied, realising that she would need her London friend’s support even more very soon. Where _that _lady walked, Sidney Parker could not be far. And indeed, his lady turned around and called: »Sidney! Look who’s here!«, and from somewhere within the crowd, Sidney Parker appeared, putting on a neutral face as one does when one is about to meet former acquaintances, just until he noticed who in fact was the former acquaintance. Charlotte, who had spent a considerable amount of time trying to learn to read his facial expressions, detected a quick succession of surprise, joy, pain and then again, the neutral composure of a gentleman. »Lady Susan. Miss Heywood.« A faultless bow to the ladies. »Crowe. I _did_ expect to see you here.«

»Well, I certainly _didn’t_ expect to see you here tonight, my friend. Thought you were staying at Babington’s estate?«

»We have returned earlier.«

»Ha! Couldn’t stand the lovebirds’ chirping anymore, could you?«

Next to Charlotte, Lady Susan took a deep breath that could have easily been mistaken for a giggle – had it not been impossible for a lady of her status to show such a frivolous emotion. »And how are the wedding preparations going?« she asked very politely.

»Oh, it’s just a nightmare,« the happy fiancée avowed, groping for her man’s arm for support. »We wish it were over already, don’t we, Sidney?«

She’s clinging to him like wet seaweed, Charlotte thought. She’ll pull him down. She’ll pull him under water, and he’ll drown, whatever an accomplished swimmer he is.

In full accordance with her character, the lady didn’t expect her fiancé to answer her question. »But then again, it’s such an exciting time of one’s life. I’ll be so happy to advise you once your time comes, Charlotte – I may call you Charlotte, may I not?«

»I have no notions of marriage yet, ma’am,« Charlotte said.

»Really not? I heard of a certain young builder in Sanditon who’s apparently only waiting for the right moment to ask the question … that boy who won the rowing race … Jim Striker?«

»Mr James Stringer. He’s a good and kind friend, nothing else.«

»Nothing else! That’s how it usually starts, isn’t it, Sidney?«

For a moment, Charlotte wasn’t sure whom to pity more: herself for the heartbreak he was causing her or him for having to bear the spite of _that_ lady for the rest of his life. This time, however, his lady allowed him to answer: »I trust there are as many forms of love as there are moments in time, Eliza.«

»Quite the philosopher!« his fiancée exclaimed.

»Yes,« Lady Susan said sweetly. »Just like Charlotte. You might want to discuss Heraclitus with her one day, Mr Parker.«

»Never heard of that fellow«, Mr Crowe said, reaching for a glass of champagne offered by a passing waiter. »Cheers! Good to have you back, Parker, even though I see the old days are over.«

»To the old days,« Sidney said, helping himself to a glass.

»To new beginnings,« Charlotte said softly, but not soft enough for the ears of_ that _lady who had every single sense sharpened towards her.

»That’s excellent. To new beginnings!«

Charlotte signalled to her hostess that she longed to leave, and Lady Susan nodded. »It’s been a pleasure,« she said, »but it’s time for us to go.«

»Such a pity,« _that_ lady said. »Just now that we’ve met again.«

»I trust we’ll be able to repeat the experience. – Come, Charlotte, my dear, we’ll get the carriage ordered.« Everyone bowed, and Lady Susan led Charlotte out of the way of more heartbreak. Later in the carriage she said: »I think that went quite well, my dear.«

»Do you?« Charlotte, with less knowledge of these matters, was in doubt.

»Very well, indeed. You didn’t faint, you didn’t cry, you spoke up for yourself, we’ve learned who your allies are.«

»I’m not sure whether Mr Crowe is the most reliable ally.«

»He is. He stands to gain nothing if his friend marries a woman who within a fortnight will forbid him any intercourse with past acquaintances. – Trust me, I know this type of woman. Her confidence in herself is so poor that she has to reign about everybody else’s lives in order to feel important.«

Charlotte tried and failed to imagine Sidney Parker as the minion of such a heartless regent. That’s not who he was, however deflated he was at the moment. It was bound to end in tragedy. He would restrain himself for a while for the sake of the future Mrs Parker, but at some stage, that loveless marriage would transform him back into the cold and cynic man he’d been once, and he would return to his old ways of drinking and living wild and wipe out that better, that true self that he admitted to being when he was with Charlotte Heywood. The memory of the »boarding house« they visited on their quest for Georgiana was still fresh in Charlotte’s mind, the far too familiar welcome he had received there. She was under no illusion as to his past life. All that had been forgotten and unimportant in the short span they had believed themselves in the possession of perfect happiness, but it would come back to him now and haunt him.

»But what is more important,« Lady Susan continued, »We know now that she still regards you as her rival.«

»Do we? I think she just treated me with as much contempt as always.«

»For which a woman of her position who believes her fiancé is fixed on her should have no reason, especially when faced with a young, inexperienced girl from the country. She’s deeply insecure. No, trust me, my dear, it is far from over.«

Charlotte was inclined to trust Lady Susan’s judgement more than anybody else’s, but yet, it did feel as if it was over. Sidney Parker had barely even looked at her at Mrs Maudsley’s, and during the next few days, whenever their paths crossed, he hardly seemed to notice her at all. He was oddly preoccupied with his cane when the ladies’ carriages passed each other in Hyde Park and the usual pleasantries were exchanged. He showed a most distinct interest in a piece of Venetian silk when the ladies accidentally met at Grafton’s where his fiancée mused about the embroidery for her wedding dress while Lady Susan commented on the laces for Charlotte’s dress for the Grassmeres’ ball. He barely acknowledged Charlotte or Susan when they arrived at Lord and Lady Grassmere’s and their carriage happened to drive up just behind that of his lady.

Charlotte did not feel very much like going to a ball that night at all. The morning had brought a letter from Georgiana, delayed as it had been forwarded from Willingden to London, and Georgiana seemed to be more unhappy than ever before. She still pined for her beloved Otis, who her cruel guardian had torn from her, and the fact that that same guardian – Sidney Parker, that is – had proceeded to break her best friend’s heart as well did not exactly help to endear him to her or to lift her spirits. Charlotte knew just too well how poisoned the atmosphere at Mrs Griffiths’ house had to be right now, with herself away and no Mr Arthur to entertain the precious ward, but the Beaufort girls giggling at every opportunity, the Reverend Mr Hankins advancing on the governess and Georgiana crouching about like a tiger in a cage, looking for the one moment to attack and to escape.

But Lady Susan would not hear any of her objections, a ball at the Grassmeres was an occasion where one had to be seen, especially if one was up against the wealthiest widow in the country. One sulky friend in Sanditon was not to deprive Charlotte from the opportunities such an event had to offer, and Charlotte finally had her best white silk ball gown laid out for her and her hair pinned up in a most fashionable way.

As always on these occasions, Lady Susan introduced her here and there until some fine young gentleman asked her for a dance. This evening wasn’t different. She danced two full sets and finally enjoyed the company as well as the music so much that she even stopped looking out for _that_ lady and her fiancé. When Charlotte returned to their table Lady Susan was nowhere to be seen, and she set out exploring the ballroom on her own. She felt rather hot after the exertions of the dances, so she decided to head for fresh air, to be found outside the ballroom on a terrace with a few stairs leading down into the garden. Down there, a fountain shimmering in the light of torches and lanterns seemed to be quite the place to revivify oneself. She enjoyed the coolness of the water, the occasional fresh drop that sprinkled her face, and within moments she found herself thinking: _This is something I have to mention to Tom Parker … a fountain for Sanditon … a shady place, surrounded by trees, where one can be refreshed on a hot summer’s day without venturing down to the water_ – and it was this very moment in which she understood how much she missed the bustle and the activity of Sanditon, the excitement of a new building plan, the subsequent talks about slates and windows and rooftops with Mr Stringer, the discussions with Tom about how to market which feature of his model seaside resort, the sheer thought of leaving her mark on this world. No London shopping sprees, no double set of dances and not the finest young gentlemen would ever replace the satisfaction she had gained from assisting Tom Parker with the development of Sanditon. She had outgrown Willingden, she knew that the moment she set foot in her father’s house again, but that now even London would prove too small for her ambitions was a rather startling realisation.

»Miss Heywood.« From Sanditon it was such a tiny step to Sidney Parker that she didn’t flinch when she heard him speak her name – in fact, for a split-second, she believed the voice had spoken in her head only, as it had done numerous times before. Only when she felt the most delicate touch on her waist did she realise that the real Sidney Parker was standing behind her and looking at her as she was looking at the fountain.

»A fountain.« The idea just poured out of her, making sure it would not be forgotten now that it was out in the open. »Sanditon should have a fountain square, with trees to give shade and benches to relax on, and enough space for the children to play.«

Considering that this was the first real meeting of two lovers torn apart from each other by a most cruel fate, it was a rather unconventional beginning. Then on the other side it is safe to say that it was Charlotte’s unconventional manner that drew Sidney to her in the first place. He was used to discussing everything with her from the architecture of sandcastles to Greek philosophers, and therefore did not answer with tearful vows of love (which would have been absolutely in place) but with a more practical: »That’s a wonderful idea, and I should mention it in my next letter to my brother.«

Charlotte stared at him, only now realising whom she was indeed talking to. »I’m sorry,« she said. »I’m too…«

»No, you’re not. I’m so pleased that you are still thinking about improving Sanditon.«

»I suppose I always will.« Talking to him was easy, as it had always been, except for the morning of the cliff top walk, when he had babbled nonsense about the weather before summoning up the courage to kiss her. Looking at him now was more difficult, and accepting the fact that her first love had quite literally ended in fire and despair after just as much as a romantic walk and the first half of a marriage proposal was completely impossible.

»So, have you heard anything from your friends in Sanditon lately?« he inquired, moving the conversation to safer grounds.

»I had a letter from Georgiana this morning.«

»She hates me more than ever, and I cannot even blame her for it.« Neither could Charlotte. Not only did Georgiana blame her guardian for her own broken heart, she was also a first-hand witness of what that guardian had been forced to do to her best friend’s heart. »Should you … Should you wish to visit Georgiana, I’d be more than pleased to give my approval,« that same guardian now said. »I’ll instruct Mrs Griffiths accordingly. – I may not be able to fulfil my duties towards her as I should do over the next few months, and I would be glad to know there’s at least one kind heart with her,« he added.

»She’s likely to say that you_ never_ fulfilled your duties,« Charlotte couldn’t help but answer.

»Yes, but that was her subjective perception. Now it’s a fact that I’ll … _we’ll_ be leaving the country for a while.«

»Oh.« Charlotte took a step back. So it wasn’t enough that _that _lady exhibited him to London society like a prize stallion, no, now she was going to drag him across the Continent as well. If it had been somebody else’s story, she would have laughed about it. Unfortunately, it was her own.

Suddenly he moved forward and took her hand. »I’m so sorry, Charlotte. l hope you don’t think too badly of Mrs Campion.«

»Think too badly of her?« She quickly removed her fingers from his. »I don’t think of her at all, Mr Parker. Quite simply: I don’t care.«

He looked at her, opened his mouth, then thought the better of it and only after another pause replied: »You’ll go mad if you don’t put these things from your mind. – I’m so glad I caught you alone for a moment …« He was the one going mad because he didn’t put her from his mind, she realised. He was the one trying to have the best of both worlds, acting as _that _lady’s fiancé in public and enjoying a spirited talk with Miss Heywood in secret. It was not going to work, she knew that. If his lady found out, it would be the end of Sanditon.

»Please, Mr Parker,« she said, moving away from the fountain. »Please be kind enough to leave me alone.« – and with that, she hurried back to the house.

She found Lady Susan with the elderly Lady Grassmere, watching the couples on the dance floor. »Oh, there you are, my dear,« her friend greeted her. »I was starting to think you’d jumped ship.«

»No. I just needed a breath of fresh air.«

»Very well. I was just telling Lady Grassmere about your sea bathing in Sanditon. I believe there is no place for sea bathing like Sanditon, is there?«

»Never seen a better place for it,« Charlotte said, and that was entirely true, as she had never been to any other seaside resorts.

»You’ll never induce me to step into the sea, Susan.« Lady Grassmere chuckled.

»I might try it myself during my next stay,« her friend said. »It must be so invigorating.« Charlotte noticed that out of kindness to her, Susan continued to promote the place that had fallen on such hard times after the fire.

»It’s the best way to start a new day,« she confirmed. »I took a dip nearly every morning, and with Mr Parker’s fine new bathing machines …«

»Oh.« Now she had the elderly lady’s attention. »Is that Mr Sidney Parker?«

»Mr Tom Parker. Mr Sidney’s elder brother. Sanditon is his …« … fifth child and second wife, Charlotte was about to say, but Lady Grassmere’s interest in bathing machines, which was never extensive in the first place, had evaporated completely.

»I have heard the most dreadful story about Mr Sidney Parker,« she said.

»Have you? I hope you don’t mean his engagement to the unequalled Mrs Campion.« Lady Susan moved a little closer to Charlotte.

»Of course not, no. That is a most welcome event. But it seems that Mrs Campion had to fight hard for her man.«

»Had she,« Lady Susan said, taking Charlotte’s arm.

»Apparently, she prevented him from committing the gravest of mistakes.«

»Now you must tell us more!« Lady Susan demanded.

»It seems that just when their paths crossed again, he was about to enter a most unsuitable match. It was only the reunification with Mrs Campion that made him see reason.«

»Was it indeed? Do we know anything about the objections against the match?«

»From what I’ve heard one would assume that the woman involved was something like a changeling, a wild creature of no family, no education, no refinement. She had quite bewitched him in order to marry his fortune.«

»How simply shocking,« Lady Susan said.

»Isn’t it? Who would have thought that of Mr Parker, who always seemed so aloof, so detached. – I think Mrs Campion will do him good.«

»She certainly will, she’s such a true lady. – Well, Charlotte, my dear, it’s been quite a night, don’t you think? Shall we go home?«

»Yes please,« Charlotte whispered, and I daresay she proved her status as a true heroine in this very moment, when she managed to hold back her tears and show a civil face until they had said their good-byes, collected their coats and closed the door of the carriage behind them.

»I’m so sorry you had to hear that,« Lady Susan said as soon as the carriage started moving. »But dreadful as the story is, take courage from it. She would not think it necessary to spread such rumours if she felt he was hers completely.«

Charlotte shook her head. »I can’t! He followed me down to the garden fountain, when I took a bit of fresh air after the dance. For a few moments it was … it was … it was so … familiar – talking to him, sharing our thoughts. But then I understood that it … would be the end of Sanditon if she knew. And they are about to leave for the Continent once they are married. It’s over, Susan. I’ve lost him forever, and I better accept that and put him from my mind, or I’ll go mad.«

»Oh my dear girl,« Lady Susan took Charlotte’s hands, and for once that was all she said.

»You’ve been exceptionally kind to me,« Charlotte continued after a while. »And I’ll be eternally grateful for all that you did. But I think no matter how fashionably your maid pins up my hair and no matter how much time we spend searching for the perfect lace for my ball dress, I don’t fit into London society. I never did and never will. Maybe I’m an outlier, but whatever I am, I so much miss the bustle and the energy of Sanditon. Mr Parker has invited me to keep Miss Lambe company when he’s abroad, and I believe I can be much more useful being with her than dancing minuets with Mr Crowe.«

Lady Susan slowly shook her head and then took her hands again. »You’re exceptional, Charlotte. I only wish those people believing in changeling stories knew how exceptional you are.«

»You’re not angry with me?«

»How could I be angry? You know yourself, and that, my dear girl, is your trump card on your way to happiness. As for everything else, do not be in a hurry, the right man will come at last.«

And so, it was determined that Charlotte would return to Sanditon within three days. Miss Lambe and Mrs Griffiths were notified, as was Miss Lambe’s guardian and Mr and Mrs Heywood, who started having difficulties following up the whereabouts of their daughter, especially now that Mr Heywood had seen the engagement between the very lovely and very rich Mrs Campion and the elusive Mr Sidney Parker announced in the papers, reminding him of his favourite theory about his daughter’s heaviness of spirit.


	3. Chapter 3

Lady Susan sent Charlotte down to Sanditon in her very own carriage, and she arrived in style and dignity at Mrs Griffiths’ doorstep. The governess welcomed her with open arms, the Reverend Mr Hankins, who was by chance visiting for tea, had some Bible verses to quote about the joy of reunification, the Beaufort girls giggled, and Georgiana left her bed for the very first time in four weeks and said: »I told you not to trust a single word he says.«

»It wasn’t his fault,« Charlotte said gently.

»Yes, it was. He’s so much worse than Otis. Otis at least never betrayed me.«

No, Charlotte thought, he accrued gambling debts and boasted with your wealth in front of the owner of a … »boarding house« who went on to sell you to the worst possible lecher. But there was no use discussing this with Georgiana. She would always insist that Otis was an angel and Sidney the devil who had taken him from her.

»Let’s not dwell on unhappy thoughts,« Charlotte said. »I’m here for bathing machines and clifftop walks and the next ball and the new plans for the terrace.«

And for meeting former acquaintances. A cry of joy shook up Trafalgar House when Charlotte knocked on the door and the children realised who was visiting. Jenny and Alicia would not let go of her hands, and Mrs Parker brushed a tear from her eye when she embraced her young friend. »I’m so pleased that you have come back,« she whispered. »I feared you’d never forgive us for robbing you of your happiness.«

»There’s nothing to forgive,« Charlotte said.

Tom Parker, who had always been too preoccupied with Sanditon to notice what was going on between his younger brother and his house guest, saw no reason for tears or forgiveness. »You’re back, Charlotte – that’s excellent, most excellent. I understand Lady Susan has taken an interest in you. Do you think we’ll see her again this summer? If she chose Sanditon over Brighton, that would really boost our popularity … oh, and I had a letter from my brother Sidney this morning. Apparently, you met in London and discussed a fountain square?«

»We did. I was thinking about a place where one could relax without going down to the sea …« And there they were, back to their former discussions and exchange of ideas, leaving their marks on the future of Sanditon.

Another visit had to be made: Lady Denham requested Miss Heywood’s presence the moment she heard of her return, and as was to be expected, looked at her with a certain note of discontent. »So, you’re back hunting for a rich husband?«

»Indeed, I’m not, ma’am. I’m staying at Mrs Griffiths’, keeping Miss Lambe company.«

»Oh, you have chosen your friends wisely, Miss Heywood!« Lady Denham chuckled. »Sometimes, a rich friend can be even more helpful than a rich husband.« Sometimes, a rich friend can ruin it all, Charlotte said to herself, thinking of that lady whose money was going to save Sanditon at the price of her happiness. Speaking out loud, she asked: »Have you heard anything from Lord and Lady Babington lately, Lady Denham?«

»Besotted and in love with each other. I expect to see them here for the next ball.«

»I’m glad for them.«

»So you should be. You’ll understand soon enough that you must make sacrifices, Miss Heywood. Esther was wise enough to accept it.«

There was no use in trying to convince Lady Denham that nothing was further from Charlotte’s mind than the idea of marriage. And as Lady Denham’s only other topics were her donkeys and the frivolous recklessness of her former business partner Mr Tom Parker, who had left her investment uninsured until it literally burnt up in hot air, Charlotte decided that she definitely preferred the marriage discussion, even if it meant having to endure Lady Denham’s taunts until the end of all time.

On returning from Sanditon House, she had barely passed the building site on the terrace when young Mr Stringer walked up to her, a smile lightening up his kind and handsome face. »Miss Heywood! Well met. I’d heard you’d come back!«

»And here I am.« Amidst all her other troubles, Charlotte had come to understand how terribly she had misjudged the nature of Mr Stringer’s interest in her, and she did feel slightly embarrassed now.

»Shaking up the building business again, eh, Miss Heywood?« Mr Stringer’s friend Fred asked.

»I believe this is more of an educational visit,« Charlotte said, thinking of her duties as Georgiana’s companion. »And how are your plans for London, Mr Stringer? Still postponed?«

»Still feel I owe it to my father.« Old Stringer had not wanted his son to go to London and pursue a career as an architect, and their quarrel about it had remained unresolved when the old man died in the fire on the terrace. Charlotte could only guess how much this pained his good and honest son. Personally, she thought that a change of scenery was the best thing for him, especially if it offered him the chance of a real professional career. But this was neither the time nor the place to discuss it.

»I hope we’ll find time for a more substantial conversation,« she simply said before Mr Stringer was called back to the site by Fred.

Charlotte quickly settled back into her old Sanditon routines: A dip in the sea in the morning, a refreshing walk with Mrs Griffiths and her charges, some letter writing, some intimate talk with Georgiana about the best of men (Otis Molyneux) and the worst of men (Sidney Parker), some friendly chatter with Mrs Parker, some hours of playing with Alicia, Jenny and Henry, some assistance to Tom who even after facing bankruptcy, social ruin and the debtor’s prison would always choose the excitement of a new building scheme over proper bookkeeping.

The one topic that was never mentioned at Trafalgar House was the wedding. Whenever her husband came close to touching it, Mrs Parker created a distraction, and all Charlotte knew was that it was to take place within the next three weeks, that the whole family was to go up to London for the occasion and that upon their return from the Continent Mr and Mrs Sidney Parker were to set up a house in the capital. How long would that trip to the Continent take? Six months? A year? Enough to heal a broken heart? Enough to meet a young gentleman who would look at her like Sidney Parker had done, talk to her like him, make her angry and make her laugh like him?

These were thoughts she couldn’t share with her friends. She dwelt on them by herself, walking down to the cove one fine afternoon, letting the fresh sea breeze ruffle her hair and the late summer sunshine warm her cheeks. When she reached the cove, she found herself automatically scanning the rocks where weeks before, she had found a bundle of clothes, and she blushed at the memory of how just seconds later, Sidney Parker had emerged from the sea, wearing nothing but some drops of saltwater.

No chance of such an encounter today, but she could laugh at the memory now. Back then she had been mortified and never wanted to see him again, but now, she could think of it with a smile, and that was, perhaps, one first step into healing.

She walked down to the shoreline, looking out for shells and other treasures of the sea. How she wished she could enjoy the same freedoms as the gentlemen! They never had to content themselves with »dipping« in the shallow waters, being dragged down by voluminous bathing costumes. All they needed was a less–frequented part of the beach where they would drop their clothes and run into the sea stark naked. Charlotte wasn’t sure about the »stark naked« part, but she did like the idea of swimming in the sea as freely as she’d done at home in Willingden’s little lake. One day, she told herself, she would do it. For now, she just took off her boots and her stockings, lifted her skirts and paddled into the water, relishing the refreshing coolness, the delicate pain the small stones and pebbles she stepped on caused her. She didn’t care whether her dress got wet or her hair even more ruffled – if she was said to be a changeling, why not look like one?

She had spent some delightful minutes in this out-of-the-world manner, when her eyes wandered back to the rocks – only to be met with the dark gaze of a tall gentleman in a beaver hat. She took a step back, stumbled, let go of her skirts, hit the water and had to resign herself to the fact that she was rising from the sea with much less grace than Sidney Parker so many weeks before. And he didn’t have the civility to turn around – or better still: run away: he simply remained where he was, staring at her.

»Mr Parker,« she said when she balanced over the rocks towards him, as he was standing right between her and her shoes. »Always popping up where least expected.«

»Same could be said about you. What are you doing here?«

»Taking a walk by the seashore. That’s obvious, one would think.«

»Given the spot you have chosen for your solitary walk, one might presume you are chasing memories, Miss Heywood.«

»Nothing so memorable about this place,« she lied, moving around him to get to her shoes. He caught her by her elbow. »Charlotte …«

»Please.« He let her go immediately and took a step back. »What are you doing here?« she added, trying to kill that tiny, hopeful little voice that told her he was here because the wedding had been called off.

»I meant to take a swim until I noticed that someone else was having the same idea.«

»That’s not what I mean. Why are you here in Sanditon?«

»Because of the wedding.«

»But that’s in London.«

»Not anymore. We’ve moved the location to Sanditon.«

»I don’t understand.«

»A society wedding,« he added, staring into the distance. »Bound to draw the best of the beau monde to Sanditon. That’s a unique opportunity for Tom.«

Charlotte stared at him incredulously. »You’re holding the wedding here in order to promote Sanditon?«

»It’s a business affair. So yes, we’ll be trying to get the maximum profit out of it.«

»But what does … what does …« She couldn’t bring herself to say the woman’s name. »What does … your fiancée think about that?«

»It is only in her best interest, since it’s her money that’s being invested. – It’s a business affair, Charlotte. Never forget that.« How could I, she thought. And how can I ever get over it, if the main actors keep turning up in my life?

»I’ll have to leave then,« she said, merely to herself, wringing out her sodden skirt and grabbing her shoes.

»No, please don’t. It’ll all be over in two weeks, and we’ll be gone to the Continent immediately afterwards. For Georgiana’s sake, please stay. And for Tom’s … I’d feel so much better if I knew there was someone here who’ll keep an eye on the administrative side of the investment.«

»I’ll think about it,« Charlotte said, and that was in fact what she had to do. »Now, if you’ll excuse me …« She moved away, as gracefully as she could, barefoot and in a wet skirt, forcing herself to ignore the beating of her heart and not to turn around to the rocks where Sidney Parker was preparing for another bath in the sea.


	4. Chapter 4

»He’s a cruel man,« Georgiana said when she heard about her guardian’s return. »How can he do that to you? Marry _that _woman under your eyes?«

»This is not about me,« Charlotte corrected. »It’s about Sanditon.«

»It’s about Sanditon because that most stupid of the Parker brothers didn’t pay the insurance premium for his buildings. Frankly, Charlotte, I wonder why you’re still keeping up with them. They’ve ruined you.«

»Without them, I would never have come here in the first place. Never met you … Mr Stringer … Lady Susan … Lady Denham …«

»As if not meeting that old bat was a great loss.«

»… never seen that gorgeous pineapple … Dr Fuchs’s hydrotherapy machine … never played Cricket on the beach … never organised a regatta …« Never learned what it is like to be useful, to leave one’s mark on the world, she thought. Never chased Georgiana’s abductors through London, never sat in a rowing boat with Sidney Parker, never known what it is like to be in love. »Frankly, Georgiana, this is so much more than just a disappointing love story. I have no idea how I am ever going to go back to life in Willingden.«

»So you’re going to stay here?«

Charlotte shrugged. »As long as I’m welcome.«

»You’ll always be welcome to me,« Georgiana said. »Though I don’t know yet what plans my guardian’s future wife has in store for me. Sometimes I fear she’s going to pack me away to some cold castle in the foggy Welsh mountains.«

»Even that sounds more interesting than Willingden.«

They were interrupted by Mrs Griffiths rushing in and announcing the imminent arrival of Miss Lambe’s guardian and his fiancée. Charlotte took the chance to sneak away before they entered – facing _that _lady proved, after all, too much for the moment.

But she couldn’t escape her forever, of course. The next morning, when Charlotte returned from her »dip«, feeling alive and refreshed as always after the exercise, she saw her standing in front of the hotel, talking to some very elegant people. So it was already happening, the beau monde pouring in for the wedding. Tom Parker confirmed it when she helped him sort out the paperwork that afternoon: »Next week’s ball will be the most splendid event we’ve ever seen in Sanditon, Charlotte. And it’s all out of interest in Mrs Campion. We may have lost a fortune on the terrace, but that lady, my dear, is multiplying our worth.«

»Tom,« Mrs Parker gently said.

»What is it? Am I not right? That moment back in London when Lord Babington turned up with the invitation to Mrs Maudsley’s rout I knew we were saved. And I was right. That’s where Sidney met our most precious future sister again and set the clockwork into motion.«

»So are we going to see Lord and Lady Babington for the wedding?« Charlotte asked, desperate to get away from the ball where Sidney Parker had set so much more into motion than just the interest of his old flame.

»We are,« Tom said. »And they’ll be bringing their friends. As will Mr Crowe and many others. It’s finally happening. Sanditon’s coming to life.«

»I’m pleased for you.« Charlotte said. »And I hope to be a part of Sanditon for a long time.«

»So you shall, my dear, so you shall.« Tom nodded. »Have you heard about Lady Denham’s luncheon next week?«

»Yes.« Lady Denham was going to give a luncheon party in honour of Mrs Campion, and Mrs Griffiths and her charges were cordially invited. No surprise though that Georgiana had declined for her part, and that Mrs Griffiths and her guardian had insisted. »But I don’t know yet whether we’ll attend,« Charlotte said.

»Nonsense! You must attend! There’s no way of backing out when the lady of the town calls you.«

»Tom,« his wife said, but all too gently again.

»No, Charlotte, I do insist. You are part of Sanditon’s success, after all.«

»That’s very kind of you, but I doubt I’ll be greatly missed by Lady Denham. She values neither my company nor my conversation.«

»Oh, but you’re wrong in that. She likes a strong opinion. And she’s desperately lonely, now that Miss Denham is married, and her other relatives have proven such a disappointment.« Disappointment was a kind description. For all one knew, Sir Edward Denham and the two-faced Miss Brereton had fallen on the hardest of times, but since they had never made much of an effort of finding friends in Sanditon, they were missed and pitied only by the most kind-hearted – and their aunt was not among them.

On her way back from Trafalgar House to Mrs Griffiths’, Charlotte decided to take a diversion and look for Mr Stringer. She always enjoyed their talks, and there was no danger of touching Lady Denham’s luncheon or _the_ wedding with him. He was all about business and building. She found him wrapping up work for the day, ready to go home but pleased to see her, nonetheless, and eager to show her the new plans for the terrace. »So still nothing new about your invitation to London?« she asked after he had brought her up to date with all the changes and improvements _that _woman’s investment was to pay for.

»I have resigned myself to being a builder here, at the place where I belong,« Mr Stringer said, not looking at her.

»But that’s not who you are!«

»I think that’s quite exactly who I am, miss.«

»No. You’re an architect. You have a talent that deserves promotion.«

»Yes, but that was before …«

»Mr Stringer! You would have gone to London if your father had lived.«

»But he doesn’t live. And he died thinking I was going to leave him.«

»You don’t bring him back if you don’t go. If you deprive yourself of the best opportunity of your life.« He didn’t answer at once, fiddling around with the toolbox instead.

»You said London was a horrible place,« he finally said.

»It is, though it did improve during my second visit. – But that’s not the point. I think … a fresh start … a new perspective … a chance to elevate your station in life after everything that’s happened, to leave your mark on the world: That’s what you deserve.«

»Do you really think so?«

»Of course I do. And …« She felt it was time to make amends, to come clear about the unspoken. »And I’m sorry if I have hurt your feelings in the past by seeming … ignorant or … too preoccupied with my own affairs. I do realise I get excited too easily and then lose sight of the details.«

»Nothing to apologize for, miss.«

»So will you think about London again?«

»I will,« he promised. »But what about you, miss? Don’t you deserve a fresh start, either?«

»I probably do. But since I’m a woman, I have little hope of anyone offering me a position as an apprentice architect, and I have resigned myself to remaining Miss Lambe’s companion.«

»But that’s not who you are either.«

»No, Mr Stringer, certainly not.« Charlotte sighed, trying not to think about what she could have been. »But for the moment, it’s the best I can do.«

After talking to Mr Stringer, Charlotte felt a little better. She was sure he was going to accept the apprenticeship in London after all, he just needed a little more time, and she was pleased that despite the disappointment she had caused him, they remained friends.

The next few days before the luncheon party at Lady Denham’s were filled with her daily »dip« in the sea as long as the weather kept fine, with walks with Georgiana along the shoreline and the cliff path, with reading - and with cautious endeavours at preventing a chance meeting with Georgiana’s guardian or his fiancée. This proved quite a challenge, but over the days Charlotte developed a certain talent at quickly sneaking out of rooms or hiding behind delivery carts whenever she detected a brown beaver hat or _that _lady’s elegant silhouette on the street.

»You’ll have to face them eventually, you know,« Georgiana said when Charlotte returned to Mrs Griffiths’ drawing room after her friend’s guardian had ended his daily visit.

»Yes, but I don’t mind delaying the experience.«

As the luncheon party drew nearer, Georgiana’s resistance grew. »I’m not going!« she cried. »I’m not going to be exposed and ridiculed again by that old bat!«

»We are taught not to repay unkindness with unkindness.« Reverend Hankins, who seemed to have taken up a second residence at Mrs Griffiths’ lately, looked very gravely at Georgiana who in return looked as if she was going to stick out her tongue at him.

»I’m not going,« she repeated.

»Oh Miss Lambe!« Mrs Griffiths sighed. »I have explicit orders from Mr Sidney not to make an appearance without you and Miss Heywood.«

»Then bring Miss Heywood; I’m sure that will suffice.« Charlotte looked at her in alarm, but the governess was too taken up by her present challenge to ask why Miss Heywood’s presence would suffice for Mr Sidney. In the end, Georgiana yielded, grudgingly and angry, complaining about the general English habit of luncheon parties, hating everything English except Charlotte, and asking out loud whether this time they’d be treated to coconuts instead of pineapples. The Beaufort girls giggled, the Reverend searched for an appropriate verse to use for an answer, and Mrs Griffiths did her very best to shepherd her charge towards the carriage. No coconuts on the centrepiece, Charlotte thought, but more likely a treasure chest, with the event being held in honour of _that _lady.

_That _lady hadn’t arrived yet when Lady Denham’s butler announced their names, and neither had her fiancé. But Mr Crowe was there, and with him the Babingtons, and that was a sight to make Charlotte momentarily forget her own predicament. Lord Babington, who had never stopped smiling since receiving the former Miss Denham’s consent on the night of that fateful ball, greeted her warmly and expressed his happiness at seeing her again, and Lady Babington, who had never made any attempts at befriending anyone – least of all her own husband –, immediately took her arm and said: »We shall have a walk round the room, and you can tell me what I’ve missed while we were away.«

»You haven’t missed that much, Lady Babington. No ball, and everyone still recovering from the fire. And I’ve been away as well.«

»Yes. I’ve heard about that. You’ve come around this summer.«

»I still like Sanditon better than London.« Lady Babington stopped, gazing out of the window into the deer park.

»You know, the strange thing is, I spent the first half of the summer longing to go away. And once I was away, I started missing the place.«

»Must have something to do with human nature,« Charlotte suggested.

»Must have. It certainly didn’t have anything to do with Babington, because he was here and there, driving me into madness with his endless declarations of love.« Charlotte, who knew for sure that Lady Babington secretly very much relished her husband’s attentions, smiled to herself.

»Are you talking about love?« Lady Denham cried. Despite her age, she had very sharp ears, and »love« was topic that always prompted her to give her opinion. »Maybe you have some hints for Miss Heywood about how to find herself a rich husband, Esther. Her own attempts have not proven very successful so far.«

»I doubt Miss Heywood needs any advice on the matter.« Lord Babington, amiable man that he was, gave Charlotte a nod, and his lady moved a little closer to her and whispered somewhat mysteriously: »Sometimes, a delay only heightens the pleasure.«

»Mrs Campion,« the butler announced. »Mr and Mrs Thomas Parker, Mr Sidney Parker.«

And there they were: Mrs Campion, elegant and smiling as ever, thanking Lady Denham for the most gracious invitation, Tom Parker, admiring the new floor in the drawing room, admiring Lady Denham’s taste, bowing as humbly as possible to the hostess who not too long ago had threatened to put him into debtor’s prison, Mrs Parker, looking as concerned as a lady with such a fate hanging over her head would, and Sidney Parker, dressed all in black, unsmiling, bowing to Lady Denham, merely nodding to Georgiana and her governess, greeting his friends in a rather solemn way before finally turning to the pair of Lady Babington and Charlotte, who were still standing by the window. »Ladies.« – and he looked the other way again.

»That was positively rude,« Lady Babington said, softly enough to be heard by Charlotte only.

No, Charlotte thought, that’s who _she_ makes him, and it pierced her heart. She thought of the proud man she had been sitting next to during Lady Denham’s last luncheon party, the man who rudely snapped his fingers to get the servants’ attention, who took up all the space around him, with his cane marking his territory and his hand held to his waist in a gesture of self-confidence, casting defiant looks wherever he went, the man who had told her that he neither thought of her nor cared for her opinions. He wasn’t a likable man back then, not at all – just to think of their first encounter, when he had assumed she was Mary Parker’s maid and then, after that had been clarified, forgotten her name within a second! But even that man was a lot better than this harassed version of Sidney Parker that was now leading his glowing fiancée to Lady Denham’s luncheon table.

It was a smaller assembly than on the previous occasion. Charlotte found herself seated between Mr Crowe and Tom Parker, which was more than agreeable to her, especially because it meant that Sidney and his fiancée were placed on the other side of the table next to the hostess. Lady Denham immediately began her usual interrogation of her guest of honour. – How long had she been widowed? – How long had she not seen Mr Sidney before their chance meeting a few weeks ago? before accepting his suit? – Had she ever been to Sanditon before? – Had she tried a donkey ride? the sea water? the sea bathing?

»Not yet,« the lady said to the sea bathing. »Although I have heard it to be very invigorating.«

»It is indeed,« Lady Denham said. »Some of the young ladies take a dip every day, don’t you, Miss Heywood?«

»Whenever the weather permits it,« Charlotte said, scarcely looking up from her plate.

»There’s no better place for sea bathing than the gentle surf of Sanditon’s fine beaches,« Tom Parker said, sounding as if he had just invented another advertisement for his project. »And nowhere more comfortable than with our state-of-the-art bathing machines. It _is_ very comfortable for the ladies, isn’t it, Charlotte?«

»It is.«

»I’m looking forward to hearing your opinion on it, Mrs Campion,« Lady Denham said to her guest of honour who for a second looked cornered before regaining her usual elegant composure.

»So you will, Lady Denham. It will be my pleasure.«

»Isn’t there a saying, Charlotte?« Georgiana asked from across the table. »Something about stepping into the sea twice?«

»Stepping into a river. A man cannot step into the same river twice …«

»… for either he’s not the same man or it’s not the same river!«, Georgiana completed triumphantly.

»Well done, Mrs Griffiths,« Lady Denham said to the governess who looked absolutely clueless. »You have improved her education. Although you might teach her when to quote appropriately. I don’t see what this has got to do with Mrs Campion’s sea bathing.«

»Everything,« Georgiana said quietly. Charlotte kept concentrating on her plate, forcing herself not to look at Sidney Parker, who himself seemed to be very busy cutting his food.

Lady Denham, having clarified the matter of the sea bathing with her guest of honour, turned to the next topic of conversation close to her heart. »Now, Miss Heywood. With all this present and future marital happiness around the table, are you still not interested in finding yourself a fine, rich husband?«

»Indeed, I’m not, ma’am. And if I were, I fear I would very quickly make the experience that there certainly are not so many men of large fortune in the world as there are young women to deserve them.«

»Well said, Miss Heywood!« Lord Babington applauded.

»Well,« Lady Denham said with the air of discontent she was always showing when someone had outwitted her. »One does wonder what you are doing here if you are not looking for a husband, Miss Heywood.«

»I beg your pardon, ma’am?«

»You have come here as … a nobody … a girl from a family no-one’s ever heard of from a place no-one’s ever been to … and shown a self-importance – a superior attitude to everything and everybody, while living off other people’s pockets. One might as well call you a parasite.«

»Lady Denham!« Lord Babington and Tom Parker cried out simultaneously.

»Is it not so? I like to speak the truth. So what are your designs, Miss Heywood, if they are not to find a husband?«

»I …« Charlotte scarcely knew what to say or where to look, all too aware that everyone was staring at her now.

»She’s become quite invaluable to Sanditon, Lady Denham. Just think of the regatta,« Tom Parker said, but of course the last person from whom Lady Denham wanted to hear a defence of Miss Heywood was the man who had blown up her investment in a firestorm. It only made her more uncivil.

»That was of no lasting value, as we all know.«

»And she’s so good with the children,« Mrs Parker added.

»And so she should be, with twelve siblings at home. Or was it fourteen?«

»Gracious God! Fourteen siblings!« _That _lady smiled her false silver smile. »We might offer you a position as a governess one day, Miss Heywood.«

»You insufferable cow!« Georgiana cried. »Don’t you see Charlotte’s a hundred times more worth …«

»Georgiana, that will do!« Her guardian’s voice cut across the table, sharp as a knife as he stood up.

»No, it won’t! We all know why you’re …«

»Georgiana. Please don’t,« Charlotte said quietly.

»You’ll apologize to Mrs Campion at once!« Sidney was still standing, staring down at Georgiana, who stared unflinchingly back.

»I’d sooner be crucified.« There was a moment of complete silence, of everyone looking at Sidney Parker and his ward, everyone petrified, unable to find a way to divert the firestorm that was coming upon them. Until some light laughter broke the silence: the amused, silver–like giggle of a lady.

»Oh, Sidney,« his fiancée said, tugging at his sleeve. »Don’t take these things too seriously. Miss Lambe is just a girl, barely finished her schooling and with a natural wild streak. How could I take offence from her? We’ll sort her out in time.« Sidney breathed deeply, sending another wild look at his ward before sitting down again.

»Well, Miss Lambe,« Lady Denham said. »There is always excitement with you at the luncheon table.«

»Then you’ll excuse me, Lady Denham.« Georgiana laid down her cutlery and stood up. »I don’t wish to spoil anyone’s appetite.«

»But Miss Lambe …« Poor Mrs Griffiths started running after her charge who with a clash that made the glasses on the table dance rushed out of the room.

»Is this down to you?« Sidney suddenly turned to Charlotte, his eyes aglow with anger. »Are you inciting her?«

»She has eyes to see and a brain to think for herself, Mr Parker« she replied, ignoring his wrath, wondering instead whom to pity most – Georgiana, terrified of the future Mrs Parker’s plans for her (which by appearances could very well include a cold castle in the foggy Welsh mountains), the man doomed to spend the rest of his life with _that_ spiteful woman, or perhaps herself.

The rest of the lunch went over without any further turbulences, which was largely down to Lord Babington and Mr Crowe talking incessantly about the benefits of well-padded carriages, the latest fashion of top hats and Babington’s country estate, and Mrs Parker’s and Lady Babington’s willingness to comment on these matters and keep the conversation going. Tom Parker remained unusually silent, then and there casting thoughtful glances to his brother, and Charlotte just wished the whole thing to be over, promising herself never to accept an invitation by Lady Denham again.

When it was time to leave, Mrs Parker offered her a seat in her family’s carriage, as Georgiana and Mrs Griffiths were already gone, but she declined. She preferred a walk through the park back into town, hoping that the steady sea breeze would help her sober up and come to terms with what Lady Denham had said … a parasite? Living of other people’s pockets? Was that what everyone else was seeing in her? And Georgiana, just a breath away from speaking the truth about her friend and her guardian … who had then accused _her_ of inciting his ward … She had to stop and lean against a tree, wiping away the tears. How long until the wedding? The ball tomorrow, and then another three days, and then they would be gone, the horrible woman and the man who was struggling like a fish in her net, losing breath, losing strength with every turn. Maybe the old bat, Lady Denham, was right after all and the best she could do for herself was to find a husband while_ they_ were away on the Continent and be gone when_ they _returned. She wiped away the tears once more and turned to go when she heard footsteps behind her on the path. She didn’t want company in her misery and sped up her steps. Not quick enough: Sidney Parker softly touched her by the arm.

»Wait, wait, wait, wait,« he said when she hastened up again. »Miss Heywood. Please. I hope you were not too offended.«

»By what? Being called a parasite? Having Georgiana trying to stand up for me, only for her to be insulted as well? Being made responsible for her words?«

»Her behaviour was unacceptable.«

»Yes, it was. But so was Lady Denham’s and your fiancée’s.«

»Charlotte, please –« He took her by her hands, trying to gather her closer to him. That was not what she had expected, not after seeing him so angry at the table.

»What is it you want from me?«

He opened his mouth and closed it again, unable to speak, and probably asking himself the same question. Charlotte shook her head. If he couldn’t speak, she had too.

»_You_ are going to marry Mrs Campion next Saturday, Mr Parker. _That_ is the place you have chosen. You cannot have both worlds. You are going to live in yours, and I’m going to live in mine, and they are very different worlds, as we both know.«

»Charlotte …«

»No.«

»I don’t want it to end like this.«

»It did end before it could ever begin. – Now, please. Be kind enough to let me go.« And he let her go, and she continued on the path back to Sanditon. More than once did she have to wipe tears from her eyes, and more than once did she have to repeat to herself that this in fact was the end, however much she wished it to be different. When she finally reached Mrs Griffiths’, the reinforcements had already arrived: Reverend Hankins was sitting in the drawing room, reading Bible verses to the giggling Beaufort girls and an immensely sulky Georgiana.

»I’m so sorry you had to walk home,« the governess said. »I thought the Parkers would offer you a lift …«

»They did, but I preferred to walk.«

»What a ghastly luncheon! I do expect Mr Sidney to turn up here any second and give us marching orders to the Welsh mountains.«

»I don’t think so,« Charlotte said. »I think he’s busy keeping his fiancée in check.«

»For all her being a great lady and the wealthiest widow in the country, I found her way of speaking to you and Miss Lambe rather poor, my dear.« Charlotte smiled. On this dreadful day it was a ray of hope to see that despite all the troubles her charge kept causing her, Mrs Griffiths somehow seemed to like Georgiana.

»I’m going to my room for a while, if you don’t mind. I’m feeling a bit worn out.«

»Not at all, my dear, not at all.«

But sitting in her room, staring either out of the window or on the blank sheet of paper in front of her, trying to compose a letter to Alison, didn’t help much either. _At this moment, your world feels undone,_ Sidney had once said to Georgiana when she was mourning her lost love Otis, _but you must put him from your mind, or you’ll go mad. _That was exactly what it felt like: A world undone, and herself entering the first stages of madness. A knock on her door woke her from her despondency. »Miss Heywood,« Mrs Griffiths stuck in her head. »Mr Parker is downstairs, asking to see you in private.«

Mr Parker?

Mr Tom Parker, as it turned out when she entered the drawing room. He was standing next to the fireplace, looking unusually nervous. »Charlotte! My dear!« He came to her with two big steps and took her hands. »Have you recovered from this ghastly, ghastly afternoon?«

»I think so. I had a long walk home, and that had a sobering effect.« More or less, but there was no need to worry him with the details. He looked worried enough.

»Good. Excellent. Take a seat.« He led her to the sofa and sat down next to her, only to jump up the very next second. »Looks as if we are going to have fine weather tomorrow for the ball,« he said, walking towards the window, then walking back to her and taking a seat again. »Are you looking forward to the ball?«

»I am,« she said, hardly knowing what to make of this. Had she not known him to be an absolutely devoted husband, both to the long-suffering Mary and the parish of Sanditon, she would have thought him to be an excited lover, trying to get his nerves under control before declaring himself.

»Well, but then you always are, aren’t you?« He laughed, slightly abashed, coughed, looked the other way, looked at her again, suddenly very serious. »Charlotte. You must allow me to say how very sorry I am.«

»Sorry for what, Mr Parker?«

»Everything.«

»There is nothing …«

»Oh yes, there is, my dear,« he said, shaking his head. »I have been such a fool. Had it not been for this ghastly luncheon … for the things Miss Lambe said and the way Sidney spoke to you and looked at you –« Now she had an inkling of what was coming.

»Mr Parker, please …«

»No, it has to be said, Charlotte. – The way Sidney spoke to you, and the look on Mrs Campion’s face … it was like an obscured picture, finally coming into the light. I understood that all these weeks, I had overlooked the most vital, most important detail.«

»Mr Parker, I assure you, you have not overlooked anything.«

»And my most precious wife has just confirmed it to me.«

She desperately shook her head. »No.«

Mr Parker took her hands and looked at her with more seriousness than ever before. »I have destroyed my own dear brother’s happiness, and yours as well.«

Whatever she had meant to say came out in a blur, and instead of words out of her mouth, tears streamed out of her eyes, an unending waterfall of desperation. Mr Parker (or perhaps the kind Mrs Parker) had thought of bringing a good supply of handkerchiefs, and as he was a very emotional man, he needed some of them himself after handing one to Charlotte.

When all tears were shed, all eyes dried and all noses wiped, Mr Parker took Charlotte’s hands again. »I will not ask for your forgiveness, Charlotte, for this is a guilt I shall have to bear my whole life. And every success we’ll celebrate in Sanditon will be a reminder of my failure.« It is in no way unreasonable to presume that with his natural tendency to the theatrical, he somehow relished this scene, however painful it was. »You have borne this so bravely, my dear! Not a single complaint, never a reproach! How you must be suffering. Just tell me that we will remain friends.«

»Of course we will, Mr Parker,« Charlotte assured him, oddly relieved that now the secret was in the open, nothing to be shushed over between her and Mary, nothing to be hinted at in the vaguest of terms by Mr Crowe and the Babingtons.

»Good. Excellent. I’ll now go and see my brother, in the hope of finding the same generosity once again.«

»I’m sure you will.«

»Always so kind. Thank you, Charlotte.« He bowed deeply to her and was gone. She listened to the doors clapping and the wind coming up and rattling the shutters, and to her heart beating steadily and telling her that she was going to survive this, that she was not going mad after all.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, after a late breakfast, Mrs Griffiths took Georgiana and the Beaufort girls to the dress fitting for what was to be the final ball of the season that evening. Charlotte stayed behind. She knew what she was going to wear, there was no need for an extra fitting. Instead, she hoped that she would finally manage to write that letter Alison had been waiting for far too long. When she heard someone knock on the outside door, she didn’t make much of it, assuming it to be the Reverend on his daily round to his bouquet of blossoms – just until the door was opened and Sidney Parker walked in, unannounced as always at this place, dressed in black again and looking even more harassed than the day before.

Charlotte jumped up, turning over the letter in which the name »Parker« featured prominently. »Georgiana’s out,« she said without a greeting, in case he had come to berate his ward and announce her imminent departure to the Welsh mountains.

»I haven’t come to see Georgiana,« he replied, remaining where he was, close to the door. »As a matter of fact, I’ve come to see you.« She took a step back, touching the table for support.

»I would have expected you to be busy. Preparing for the wedding.«

»Mrs Campion is. But I realised I could not go forward with it without setting matters between us straight. My behaviour yesterday was … a great deal less than that of a gentleman. I’m all too aware of it, and I apologize.« Charlotte just nodded, unable to do or say anything else. He moved a step closer. »You said that I could not have both worlds, and that we would have to live our own lives. And you are right in that, of course. But the truth is …« He made another step, and now she saw the sorrow in his face, the pain in his darkened eyes. »… the truth is, the more time I spend in Mrs Campion’s world, the more I feel I transform back into the man I was before this summer. And I don’t like that man very much. I like the man I am when I’m with you.«

Charlotte closed her eyes, allowing one single tear to escape. So she had been right. He had felt it as well. Drowning, fighting for breath in his fiancée’s net, getting more and more entangled in it while trying to escape. When she opened her eyes again, he was standing right in front of her, his forehead nearly touching hers. »Charlotte …«

A knock on the door drew them apart. »Mr Heywood,« the maid announced, and Charlotte’s father walked in, a bit dusty from the journey, but nevertheless: her father. »Papa!« she cried, and: »Charlotte!« he replied and opened his arms to welcome his daughter.

»But what are you doing here?« she asked.

»Well, may I not see my own daughter when I feel like it?«

»Of course you may, but I thought it was your principle never to go more than five miles away from home.«

»There are occasions on which one has to rethink one’s principles,« Mr Heywood said. Only then did he notice the tall, somewhat dark and harassed looking gentleman standing between the table and his daughter. »I see you already have a visitor, Charlotte.«

»Oh. Oh, yes. This is Mr Parker, Papa. Mr Tom Parker’s brother, that is. Mr Sidney Parker. Mr Parker, allow me to introduce my father.«

»Mr _Sidney_ Parker,« Mr Heywood said, and that sounded a little more meaningful than one would have expected.

»Pleasure to meet you, sir,« Sidney said in his most well-behaved manner, bowing quickly to Charlotte. »I shall not disturb you any longer, Miss Heywood. We can sort out these business matters later.«

»Thank you, Mr Parker.«

»Miss Heywood – Mr Heywood–« He was gone.

»Business matters?« Mr Heywood said.

»Yes. He’s Mr Tom’s business partner, and I’m helping out on the administrative side.«

»Administrative side.« Mr Heywood took a step back. »Why, my little girl has grown up.«

»I haven’t been so little for quite some time, Papa. And now tell me: Why are you here? Is everything alright in Willingden?«

»In Willingden? Of course. Nothing ever happens in Willingden. We were just getting a little worried, your mother and I.«

»Worried? About me?«

»Well, you are zigzagging around the country this summer, making the most illustrious acquaintances … and then it’s been so much time since your last letter to Alison … so I thought I’d better have a look myself.«

»And I’m pleased to see you,« Charlotte said and hugged him once more. And pleased, she realised, she was indeed, for the Lord only knew what would have happened if that knock on the door had not drawn her away from Sidney. _I like the man I am when I’m with you._ »Shall I get you a refreshment?« She reached for the bell. »Where are you going to stay?«

»I was hoping for a room at the hotel, but it seems every bed has been taken already. I didn’t expect such a crowd here at the end of the summer. »

»Oh, they are all here for the wedding. The best of the beau monde, as Mr Tom will be happy to tell you. We’ll arrange something for you here at Mrs Griffiths’ … I can move in with Georgiana, and you can have my room.«

»Whose wedding?« Mr Heywood asked.

»Mr Parker’s. And tonight, there is a ball at the assembly rooms … the last ball of the season.«

»Which Mr Parker?«

»The one you’ve just met. Mr Sidney Parker.«

»Charlotte … who is this Mr Parker going to marry?«

»Oh … a Mrs Campion. A very … elegant widow from London.« Charlotte sorted through her writing materials, folding away the letter in which the name »Parker« featured too prominently.

»I think I have read the announcement in the paper. Where they not to be married in London?«

»That was the original plan. They moved it to Sanditon for promotional reasons.«

»Moving a wedding for promotional reasons?« Mr Heywood repeated.

»Well, after the fire everyone thought that Sanditon was … dead, so … I think it’s best, Papa, that you have a rest, and then we can walk over to Trafalgar House and have Mr Tom explain everything to you.«

»Yes,« Mr Heywood said, »I believe some explaining is required indeed.«

When Mrs Griffiths and the young ladies returned from their dress fitting, having acquired the Reverend somewhere along the way, they were quite astonished to hear that Mr Parker had been there and gone, and Mr Heywood come and still stayed. Mrs Griffiths agreed to the arrangements Charlotte suggested for her father’s accommodation and declared to be delighted to be making the gentleman’s acquaintance, to which Mr Heywood bowed and said he was grateful for the hospitality, which again prompted the Reverend to quote something about Christian duty towards strangers. Georgiana, while pleased to be sharing her room with Charlotte, also suspected her friend’s father of planning to take her away from Sanditon. »Nonsense,« Charlotte said, and then they discussed the much more important and exciting matter of Sidney’s visit and what he had said.

»Empty words and lies,« Georgiana said. »Don’t trust him.«

»What does he have to do to redeem himself to you?« Charlotte asked.

»Bring back Otis. Send this rich cow away and prove that he means everything he says to you.«

»You know he can’t do that.«

»He’s chosen money over love. What else do you need to know about his character?«

»But he hasn’t been here yet to berate you on what you said to …_ that _woman and force you to apologize to her.«

»Because he knows that I’d rather scratch her face. Coward.« Georgiana didn’t meet her eyes.

So it is true, Charlotte thought. She’s in fear of what will become of her once the future Mrs Parker claims all her guardian’s attention, and that fear drives her words and actions.

A knock on the door interrupted their private conversation. Mrs Griffiths stuck in her head. »Charlotte, my dear, your father is quite settled in and suggests you take him to Trafalgar House?«

»Oh, yes. Oh, sure, I will.«

»This is quite a breeze,« Mr Heywood said when they stepped out into the street.

»It’s not quite a breeze, Papa. It’s _the most refreshing of sea breezes_, as Mr Parker will tell you.«

»Which of the Mr Parkers?«

»Mr Tom Parker. He’s the one in charge of advertising. Mr Arthur Parker is in charge of food and amusement, and Mr Sidney Parker is more financially engaged.«

»And you, Charlotte? In which way are you engaged?« She’d never seen her father so serious.

»Oh, I’m … I’m sort of helping out wherever I can.«

»They are not taking advantage of you.«

»No! Papa, if you only knew what it feels like to … to participate, and to create, to see your ideas come to life … and to leave your mark on the world …«

»Charlotte,« Mr Heywood stopped and looked at her in all seriousness. »You are the eldest daughter of a humble gentleman farmer from a small village in Sussex. You have less education than your brothers and little to no knowledge of the world. I do wonder how anyone of a sound mind would plant the idea in your head that _you _have to _leave your mark on the world_.«

»Well, it’s a … it’s something Mr Parker once said to me …«

»Which Mr Parker?«

»Miss Heywood! Miss Heywood! I’m so glad to catch you!« Mr Stringer’s kind and handsome face was always a welcome sight, but never so much as at this moment, when he came running towards Charlotte and took her hand before she had to disclose what exactly Mr Sidney Parker had said to her during that first encounter on the assembly room’s balcony. »I’ve been meaning to tell you … I’ve just posted the letter to London, accepting the position.«

»But this is fantastic news! Mr Stringer, I’m so proud of you!« And then, remembering her father: »Papa, this is Mr Stringer, the foreman of our building activities. He’s been offered an apprenticeship with an architect in London. Mr Stringer, please meet my father.« Mr Stringer gave Mr Heywood a nod but was too excited for polite conversation.

»In the end it’s all been down to you, Miss. What you said about improving myself and leaving my mark.«

»And I’m sure you will,« she said warmly.

»Will you save a dance for me at the ball tonight?«

»My great pleasure, Mr Stringer.«

»Good. I shall see you then. – Sir.« He gave a bow and went off.

»Interesting young man,« Mr Heywood said when they were walking on. »Everyone in this place seems to be eager for improvement.«

»That’s what makes Sanditon so special,« Charlotte said. »Good afternoon, Mr Heeley,« she added as they passed the shoe shop.

»Good afternoon, Miss Heywood.«

»You seem to be quite famous, my dear,« Mr Heywood said.

»No, not at all. Just a good customer. – Good afternoon, Mr Crowe.«

Sidney’s friend was just leaving the hotel, as usual not quite steady on his feet. »Miss Heywood! Now that’s a sight for sore eyes. And the gentleman by your side must be your father, I presume?«

»News travels fast in Sanditon,« she said. »Papa, this is Mr Crowe. A London friend of Mr Parker’s.«

»Which Mr Parker?«

»The successful one,« Mr Crowe said. »At least when it comes to business.« He got out his hip flask, took a deep sip and cheered: »To the future Mrs Sidney Parker, her beauty and fortune.«

»Mr Crowe,« Charlotte said. »I strongly suggest you go back to your room and lay down for a while before coming to the ball tonight.«

»At your command, Admiral Heywood,« Mr Crowe replied, saluted and turned around back to the hotel.

»Now that was a strange fellow,« Mr Heywood said. »Why does he call you Admiral Heywood?«

»Oh, that’s just a … something that came with the regatta. – He can be very gentlemanly, but he feels left over because all his friends are getting married this summer.«

»Ah,« Mr Heywood said, and for a few moments, they walked together in silence – but only until a carriage passed them very slowly and then stopped in front of Trafalgar House. »Why,« Charlotte said, »It must be …«

»Miss Heywood!« a high-pitched voice cried. »Oh, we’re so glad to see you! Aren’t we, Arthur? It’s been a terrible journey, we’ve been ill all the way from London, but we did think of the ball tonight, and that kept us up. Didn’t it?«

»It did,« Mr Arthur Parker said, tearing his rotund figure from the carriage. »Pleasure to see you, Miss Heywood. How’s our mutual friend, Miss Lambe?«

»Georgiana is fine, and she’ll be overjoyed to see you, Mr Parker,« Charlotte said. Whatever Georgiana herself would say on the matter, Charlotte knew for sure that her friend enjoyed Mr Arthur’s company and that she shared his love for a good dance, the wilder, the higher, the speedier the better. »Papa, may I present Miss Diana Parker and Mr Arthur Parker? This is my father.«

»Your father!« Miss Parker exclaimed. »Oh! Mr Heywood! How lovely! Have you come to try the hydrotherapy? My brother Tom has settled a most renowned doctor here in Sanditon, a specialist in hydrotherapy …«

»I’m very healthy,« Mr Heywood said. »I’m in no need of such treatments.«

»Oh,« Miss Parker said, apparently wondering what other reason might have brought Mr Heywood here.

»Do you like toast, Mr Heywood?« Arthur Parker asked. If there was a reply, it remained unheard, because the front door of Trafalgar House opened and Mr and Mrs Tom Parker came out, along with their children. There was a general Hello and Welcome, while the younger Parker siblings mused about the perils of their journey and Tom Parker expressed his joy at seeing Charlotte’s father – especially since back in Willingden, Mr Heywood had professed so strictly his principle of never going further away from home than five miles. Mrs Parker ordered tea and refreshments and took Charlotte’s hand, which was a great relief, especially when they were passing Sidney’s picture in the corridor and Diana said how glad she was to be reunited with her family, and that the only person missing now to make her perfectly happy was her middle brother. »But we’ll see him at the ball tonight, won’t we?« Arthur Parker said. »If we’re well enough to attend.«

»Maybe we better skip the ball, or else we might be too exhausted for the wedding,« Miss Parker suggested.

»Oh yes, the wedding,« Tom Parker said, and as he was a bad secret keeper, he turned red, looked at Charlotte, fiddled with his teacup and turned even redder.

»Oh!« his sister cried. »Is there anything wrong with the wedding? I had the blue dress fitted up, and a feather stitched to my bonnet, just for the occasion.«

»There’s nothing wrong with the wedding,« Mrs Parker said, though of course everything was. »Sidney and Mrs Campion are very busy with the preparations, but I’m sure they’ll join us for the ball tonight.«

»Still find it strange,« Arthur said with a very pensive expression on his rather robust face, »that he’s come to trust her again after what she did to him.«

»But that was ten years ago,« Tom said, reddening even deeper. »People change.«

»Do they? I wonder.«

»These are family affairs,« Mr Heywood whispered to his daughter. »Should we even be here?«

Tom had overheard him. »But Charlotte _is_ family! Or at least, very nearly is.«

_Or would have been_, Charlotte thought.

»Besides, she knows all the most terrible secrets of us Parker brothers, don’t you, Miss Heywood?« Arthur asked. Enough, she decided.

»Maybe it’s better if we left you alone,« she said. »You have so many things to settle amongst yourselves before the ball.« – and despite the general outcry that they were more than welcome to stay, she and her father said their good-byes and left.

»They are a very strange family,« Mr Heywood said. »When we first met Mr Parker in Willingden, he appeared to be an accomplished businessman, the most suitable host for you. But the more I see of his dealings here, the more I doubt him.«

»Oh, never doubt Thomas Parker, Papa,« Charlotte said quickly. »He’s the most energetic, most idealistic projector, and his siblings will always stand up for him. They are very close.«

»And they seem to have adopted you, Charlotte.«

»Oh, no. They are just very generous with their affections.«

»All of them in the same degree? Or some more than others?«

»I don’t measure affection, Papa.« _I believe I am my best self, my truest self when I’m with you._ Measuring _that_ was in fact impossible. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to dwell for a second on the memory of that evening and the following morning, and then she sighed softly, opened her eyes again and led her father towards the beach in order to show him the finest bathing machines on the whole of the South Coast.


	6. Chapter 6

Mr Heywood said that he was not going to join them for the ball, but Charlotte was not having it, and neither was Mrs Griffiths. »Of course you’re coming, Mr Heywood! You must see your daughter dance!«

»I fear I haven’t brought the right clothes for such an occasion.«

»Oh, don’t worry about that, we’ll find something for you.« – and when it was time to leave, the governess had Mr Heywood kitted out in slightly unfitting white trousers, a marginally too large tailcoat and one of Tom Parker’s waistcoats. Charlotte opted for the white dress she had worn for the first ball in Sanditon – the blue one having been ruined during the night of the fire, and what was left of it tainted by the memory of what had come afterwards.

»You look very beautiful, Charlotte,« Mr Heywood said with a proud glow in his eyes.

»Thank you, Papa.« He was obviously uncomfortable, in a stranger’s clothes, being so far removed from his usual patch in Willingden. »Ready to meet the crowd?«

»I don’t think the crowd has been waiting for me, but I shall follow you.«

The assembly rooms glowed in the shine of hundred candles, alighted for the last time this season. Everything here breathed luxury and abundance: the glittering chandelier, the gilded pillars, the polished marble floor, the voluminous flower arrangements, the richly appointed boxes for very noble patrons like Lady Denham.

»Are we not out of place?« Mr Heywood asked his daughter when Tom Parker announced their names. »This is not our corner of society.«

Indeed, the rooms were more crowded than ever, and the assembled society seemed to be more refined, more distinguished than on the previous events. There was still the occasional Sanditon shopkeeper amongst them, as well as the local solicitor, the Reverend and of course Mr Stringer – but mostly, they were strangers, part of Tom Parker’s beloved beau monde, gentlemen like Mr Crowe and Lord Babington, and great ladies sporting the most elaborate hairstyles, finest jewellery and elegant dresses.

»It’s all coming true,« Tom whispered to Charlotte and her father as they marvelled at the crowd. »The beau monde is coming to Sanditon.«

»I’m so glad for you,« Charlotte said.

»Thank you, my dear.« Tom coughed. »That means a lot to me. – Mr Heywood, I wish you the most enjoyable of evenings.«

»Thank you, sir,« Mr Heywood said, looking doubtfully around him. »Beau monde,« he repeated under his breath. »What does that have to do with us?«

»Whatever we want,« Charlotte said. From the corner of her eye she saw Georgiana reunited with her faithful dancing partner, Arthur Parker, and the Misses Beaufort giggling away while their governess blushed after yet another compliment from the Reverend. A few steps further Mary Parker was listening with her usual angel’s patience to a sorrowful speech from her sister-in-law. There was Mr Crowe leading an unknown beauty to the dance floor, and from the very back of the room, Mr Stringer smiled and nodded at her. The beau monde means nothing, Charlotte thought. It was her friends and confidantes that counted. But how to explain that to her father, who was looking around himself as if he wanted to fight everyone off who dared to come close?

»Miss Heywood!« No trouble recognizing that voice: Lady Denham, seated in a box behind her, impatiently waved her by her side.

»Let’s meet the lady of the town, Papa,« she said to her father and drew him to where Lady Denham, accompanied by Lord and Lady Babington, was presiding in a richly gilded armchair.

»Miss Heywood!« Lady Denham cried again when Charlotte bowed to her. »And that gentleman, I suppose, is your father.«

Charlotte replied very concisely that he was, and then went on to introduce Mr Heywood to Lord and Lady Babington, who welcomed him very cordially (his lordship) and a little aloof (her ladyship) to Sanditon. Lady Denham, however, was not interested in niceties. »Tell me, Mr Heywood, what do you think about your daughter’s progress?«

»Her progress?« Mr Heywood repeated, clearly irritated by being spoken to so directly and apparently out of context by a lady of such status.

»In finding herself a rich husband. Clearly, that’s why you sent her to Sanditon in the first place, isn’t it? With … how many … fifteen children to provide for?«

»Aunt,« Lady Babington warned under her breath.

»Lady Denham likes to tease, Mr Heywood,« her husband seconded. »This subject has been a frequent topic of playful conversation between herself and your daughter.«

»But I do request an answer,« Lady Denham insisted, opening her fan.

»I may say that I allowed Charlotte to go to Sanditon because she asked for it,« Mr Heywood said. »And because I believed she deserved the opportunity to be brought out into society under the care and experience of Mr and Mrs Parker.«

»The care of Mr and Mrs Parker!« Lady Denham chuckled. »How can they care for your daughter, when they can scarcely care for themselves?«

»I don’t understand,« Mr Heywood said, looking at Charlotte.

»Mr Parker has suffered some challenges with his investment,« Lord Babington explained.

»He’s blown up my money in hot air,« Lady Denham said. »And even before that couldn’t pay his workers.«

»But it’s all sorted out now,« Charlotte quickly added, not daring to meet her father’s eyes.

»Yes of course.« Lady Denham chuckled again. »With Mr Sidney marrying this very rich Mrs Campion from London and her money saving his brother from the debtor’s prison. It’s common talk in Sanditon, Mr Heywood.«

»Charlotte?« Her father turned to her. »Did you know about this?«

»As her ladyship says, it’s common talk, but common talk doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true,« Charlotte said, finally able to look up and into Lady Denham’s eyes. »What is true, ma’am, is that there has been an … an understanding between Mrs Campion and Mr Parker since long before the fire. Actually, it was obvious at the regatta. As you were confined to your bed at the time, you must be excused for not knowing all the details.«

»Charlotte!« Mr Heywood cried, now clearly in horror at the way his daughter spoke to the lady of the town.

»Your daughter is a very outspoken young woman,« Lady Denham said. »But I can handle an honest opinion. Though of course it doesn’t alter the fact that your friend Mr Thomas Parker, Miss Heywood, has lost me a fortune. He doesn’t belong in a ball room, but in prison.«

»I don’t know what to think,« Mr Heywood said, looking at Lord Babington, maybe in search for male reason and support.

»Then don’t think of it,« Lady Babington said instead. »I understand Miss Heywood is installed with Miss Lambe now, and with the sensible brother in charge of _her_ fortune, there is no reason to worry about anything.«

Mr Heywood shook his head, when Arthur Parker, out of breath and with Georgiana in tow, appeared at the drapes. »Miss Heywood! There you are! Come, come quickly! Your friend’s here!« Georgiana took her by the hand and pulled her away from her father and from the box, out to the entrance, where Tom Parker, glowing like the brightest candle in the room, proudly announced Lady Susan’s arrival.

»Did you know she was coming?«, Georgiana whispered.

»Indeed I did not … she must have arrived very recently.«

»Charlotte, my dear.« Lady Susan strode straight towards her, ignoring all other attentions. »I’m so glad to find you here. And in the company of friends.« Georgiana and Arthur Parker bowed quickly to her ladyship, then returned to their dance.

»My father is here as well,« Charlotte said, nodding to the box where Lord Babington had taken it upon him to involve Mr Heywood in a conversation.

»Well, quite an assembly.« Lady Susan took her hands and drew her into a quiet corner. »Now, you must tell me everything. How are things evolving between you and a certain gentleman?«

»With only three days left until the wedding, there is not much left to evolve, I’m afraid.«

»So you are giving up?«

»I’m not giving up. I’m just accepting the facts.« And then – as Charlotte knew that Susan could be trusted with these matters – she went on to explain what had happened at the cove, and at Lady Denham’s luncheon, and in Mrs Griffiths’ drawing room just before Mr Heywood had stepped in.

»What a shame that we’ll never find out how that conversation would have ended,« Lady Susan said.

»In hindsight, I’m very glad my father came in.«

»You might be on your way to Scotland right now.«

»Yes, but lost to my family, and Tom Parker ruined. I don’t think that’s a reliable path to happiness.«

»Of course not, my dear girl.« Her friend sighed. »What are we to do with you?«

»Maybe send me to Brighton next year. Or to Lyme.« Charlotte tried a smile, when Lady Susan suddenly patted her hand.

»Now look who’s coming here.« There they were, walking towards them: the golden couple, the lady nodding to the left and to the right as if she were royalty, her fiancé giving a more reserved appearance.

»Lady Susan,« the lady said. »We didn’t expect you to join our company.«

»There is no such an eventful thing as a society wedding,« Lady Susan replied.

The lady turned her silver smile to Charlotte. »And Miss Heywood. I understand your father has arrived?«

»Indeed he has.«

»And does he like Sanditon? Will he bring more of your family?«

»Well, with the season ending soon, there’s not much sense in it,« Charlotte said cautiously. She knew _that_ woman too well. Whatever _she_ said with her friendly false smile, it was bound to mean misery for her.

»So he’ll be taking you home with him?«

»I …« The idea had not occurred to her. Was that why he had come? He had never said so, and she regarded herself fixed to Georgiana. And Georgiana was to stay in Sanditon over the winter and until her guardian (who right now was quite unhelpfully examining the shining buckles of his well-polished shoes) came back from their honeymoon to the Continent.

»But then I will lay a claim on you to come and see me in London, my dear,« Lady Susan said.

»Thank you,« Charlotte whispered.

»Of course, London.« _That _lady beamed. »I do admire how you’ve left the restrictions of your village behind and adapted into polite society, Charlotte. You owe so much to the generosity shown to you at Sanditon. Don’t you agree, Sidney?«

At last, Sidney Parker looked up from his shoes. »Really, Eliza. There is no reason to be wicked. It’s obvious to everyone how much Sanditon means to Charlotte.« His eyes met hers openly now.

»It means everything,« Charlotte said, returning his gaze.

»I know,« he replied softly, and for a moment, they were all alone in the crowded ballroom, dancing at Mrs Maudsley’s again, walking along the clifftop, holding hands on the assembly room’s balcony.

Someone gasped. That was his fiancée, crying out in the next moment: »I do detect Lady Babington over there … Sidney, we have to say hello.« – and pulling him away.

Charlotte remained where she was, frozen, and even Lady Susan stayed silent for a good while before she said: »I must say, if _that _woman has a single inch of self-esteem left inside of her, she’ll call off the wedding right now and let you have him.«

»I fear she gets most of her self-esteem from being with him.«

»My clever girl, of course she does. As a friend of mine put it, _it is very often nothing but our own vanity that deceives us._« She sighed. »It’s a wretched affair, it truly is. Now, Charlotte, despite all this, I want you to dance and amuse yourself tonight and show everyone in this room what a happy, wonderful young woman you are.«

Achieving that was not difficult. Mr Stringer was practically waiting for the moment to make his move, and as soon as he saw Charlotte turning away from Lady Susan, he came over and made his offer. She gladly took his hand, proud of him mingling in society again, and as always, she enjoyed his conversation. Soon the smile returned to her face. There was, indeed, nothing better to restore one’s spirit than a dance. From the corner of her eye, she saw her father in the company of Mrs Parker and Diana Parker, and she saw Lady Susan greeting him, then moving about the room, mixing with every group. When the set finished, she danced another one with Mr Crowe, and after that with Lord Babington, and then with Tom Parker who finally led her back to the corner where his dear wife and Mr Heywood were being treated to a lecture on biliousness by Miss Parker.

»Mr Heywood, I return your dear daughter to your fatherly care,« Tom said, pompously as ever. Mr Heywood answered with a mere nod. Charlotte sat down between the ladies, slowly recovering her breath.

»You were ravishing, my dear,« Mrs Parker said, touching her hand, and Miss Parker added: »I wish my constitution would allow me to enjoy a dance like that! But it’s always the … oh look, there’s Sidney.« He came in fact towards them, looking like his former confident self for the first time in weeks.

»Where’s Mrs C?« his sister inquired.

»Being detained by her London friends,« he said, nodding towards a box where Lady Susan was now holding court with a group of fashionable people, his fiancée one of them. Tom stared at the scene.

»It’s wonderful, simply wonderful. The beau monde at our feet. I don’t know how to thank you, brother.«

»If you want to thank anyone, Tom, it’ll have to be Charlotte’s friend,« Sidney said, looking at the box again.

»Lady Susan?« Tom asked blankly. Sidney nodded.

»It was she who suggested to me we hold the wedding in Sanditon. She came to see me after we met in London at Lord and Lady Grassmere’s ball. You might remember the occasion, Miss Heywood.«

»I do,« Charlotte breathed, hardly believing her ears.

»How extraordinary that she should take such an interest in Sanditon,« Mrs Parker said.

»How extraordinary indeed,« her husband repeated, shaking his brother’s hands. »If she decides to become our patron, the future of Sanditon is ensured. Now, Sidney, I must have you dance. Won’t you stand up with Charlotte? You two always make such a fine couple on the dance floor.«

»My pleasure, Miss Heywood.« Sidney held out his hand to Charlotte who neither knew what to think or what to feel. Was Tom trying to matchmake? To what avail? And Lady Susan … moving her forces like an admiral indeed! She felt like in a daze, and yet, the most enchanting daze, with the music playing up and Sidney standing right in front of her, smiling as he would only smile at her and ready to lead her to another dance.

»I must intercede.« Her father’s voice cut through her thoughts. »Charlotte has had enough of dancing for one evening. We will retire.«

»What …« – »But …« – There was plain disbelief on the Parker ladies’ faces, and Tom even tried a »Just one dance …«, but: »Enough, sir!« Mr Heywood said. »I’m grateful for the hospitality you have shown to my daughter, but now I believe it’s time for Charlotte to return to her family.«

»Papa!«

»You can say your good-byes to your friends tomorrow, my dear, and we’ll be leaving the day after.«

»Mr Heywood.« Tom stepped forward. »I entreat you …«

»I don’t think you are in a position to entreat anything or anyone, sir,« Mr Heywood said. »After all I’ve heard I am glad I did not have to pluck my daughter from the debtor’s prison.« While Tom swallowed and turned to his dear wife for support, Charlotte found her voice again.

»But Papa, I’ve promised to keep Georgiana company.«

»That’s a noble promise, my dear, though it was not yours to make. She’ll find other company.«

»In the interest of my ward,« Sidney said, »I ask you to reconsider, sir. Your daughter is …« He paused, looked at Charlotte and after another pause simply continued: »Your daughter is a good friend to Georgiana … and to us all.«

»And in the interest of my daughter,« Mr Heywood replied, staring at Sidney. »I will end this intimacy as soon as possible.«

Charlotte felt her heart sink. It was over. People were already turning their heads at them. Lady Denham had come out of her box, Lady Susan and her company had stopped their conversation, Georgiana and Arthur their dancing. Mr Crowe whispered something to the Babingtons, Mr Stringer moved closer. So unless she wanted to create a scene that no-one would ever forget and apart from that would not change a thing, she better relented.

»Alright, father,« she said, keeping herself upright as well as she could, and taking Mr Heywood’s arm instead of Sidney’s. »Thank you for a wonderful evening, Tom. I will come to Trafalgar House tomorrow and say good-bye.«

»So you shall, my dear,« Tom said solemnly. She didn’t look back when her father led her out of the assembly rooms: She felt as if she’d left her heart there, and her heart was a mess she did not want to see again.


	7. Chapter 7

»I hate him.« Georgiana was sulking again. If there was one good side to Mr Heywood’s decision, it was this: Georgiana had finally found someone she hated even more than her guardian. »How can he do that to you?« she asked for the hundredth time.

»He’s my father,« Charlotte replied for the hundredth time. »You know how it works. It’s the same with Sidney and you.«

»But Sidney is just my guardian. He’s supposed to be cruel and indifferent to what I want. This is your own father ruining everything for everybody!«

»Sidney is neither cruel nor indifferent to your welfare, and neither is my father to mine.« Charlotte sighed. She felt quite exhausted after the excitement of the ball, the sobering announcement of her father and a night spent tossing around in her bed without finding any sleep. Georgiana was about to lose her best friend and only confidante. _She_ was about to lose everything she’d come to value over the summer, unless a miracle happened. And she did not believe in miracles. The last one she had witnessed had come in the form of Mrs Campion saving Sanditon, with Sidney Parker attached to her as a marriage prize.

»But how can your own father do such a thing to you?« Georgiana was still at it. Yes, how could Mr Heywood determine to impair his eldest daughter’s prospects at social elevation and improvement? He had explained it to her in detail, in a most painful conversation in Mrs Griffiths’ drawing room once they had returned from the ball. It had been late, the room sparsely lit by a few candles, and in the retrospective of the next morning – a bright and sunny morning indeed – the whole discussion appeared to be out of the world, having taken place in a different sphere.

Mr Heywood had not said a word on their way back from the assembly rooms, but once they had arrived at Mrs Griffiths’, he had taken her to the drawing room, placed her on the sofa, stood in front of her and said: »And now I want to hear everything. The whole story.«

»Which story, Papa?« Charlotte had asked, for there were in fact many stories to tell, and most of them not suitable for her dear Papa’s ears.

»The story of what has been going on here.«

»I’m not sure what you mean, Papa.«

»Charlotte! I’m not young anymore, but I’m also neither blind nor deaf nor stupid. I remember telling you to be careful, warning you that these seaside resorts could be odd places, with their relaxed manners, but this … this … What I have witnessed in the few hours since I have arrived here exceeds my worst expectations. Mr Thomas Parker, who presented himself to us as a keen businessman: a bankrupt projector endangering his family and you, you, my dear, with his recklessness! This lady of the town whom you speak to so insolently, lacking any respect … this bunch of drunkards and hypochondriacs whom you call »friends« … this young builder, talking to you freely in the middle of the street as if you were old pals … this rich girl that sulks at everyone and everything while her governess flirts with the priest … this Lady Susan, fluttering around you and giving you ideas that go far beyond your station in life … and finally …« Mr Heywood had to take a deep breath before continuing, and Charlotte took a breath, too, bracing herself for what was now inevitable to come.

»Finally, Mr Sidney Parker.« She could hardly make out her father’s face in the twilight of the candles, and she hoped that the same was true for her face, because she knew that her cheeks were glowing in the deepest red now. »Engaged to a rich and elegant widow.«

»Yes,« Charlotte simply said.

»Holding his wedding for_ promotional_ reasons at this God–forsaken place.«

»Yes.«

»Saving his brother’s life and business with that wedding.«

»Yes.«

»All the while staring at my daughter, talking to her and touching her in the most inappropriate manner.«

»Yes.«

»For God’s sake, Charlotte!« Mr Heywood’s fist went crashing down on the table, causing Mrs Griffiths’ flower arrangement to shatter some of its leaves. »What are you two up to?«

»Nothing.«

»So this is normal behaviour in polite society?«

»He made me a proposal of marriage,« Charlotte said. »Or rather, he was going to make it, because half-way through, Sir Edward Denham appeared and smeared his sister Esther’s name, and then Lady Denham asked him to put Sir Edward on the next coach to London, and before that could be effected, the fire broke out, the investment went up in hot air, and instead of finishing our conversation, he had to rush to London and save what was left to save. Only that the saving angel had an engagement ring attached to her.«

»Oh my God.« Mr Heywood stumbled and sat down on the other side of the sofa. »This is worse than I expected.«

And it was only a tiny little part of the truth, only the very end of it.

»Charlotte,« her father said after a few seconds. »You are young and impressionable, a girl with little experience, a girl that has learnt nothing and been nowhere. Men like Mr Parker …« He sighed, taking her hand. »Men like Mr Parker are not to be trusted. They have … a knowledge … and an understanding of the world that is different from our moral standards. He might find you amusing for a while because you are not yet polished by society, but even if he had gone through with this ridiculous marriage proposal, he would have let you down ultimately.«

»That is not true!«

»It is, my dear. I would not have consented to the match. Never. Trust your old Papa, who has seen so much more of the world than you.«

»More of the world? You pride yourself in never going more than five miles away from Willingden!«

»So your having been to Sanditon and London makes you an expert on the natures of young gentlemen?«

»My acquaintance with Mr Sidney Parker makes me an expert on his nature!«

Mr Heywood chuckled. »You’re showing all symptoms of a young girl madly in love for the first time. Believe me, by the time we reach home, you will hardly remember the colour of his eyes.«

»Brown.« A very dark brown. Nearly black when he was angry but shimmering like warm treacle when he was not. Impossible to forget. Charlotte suppressed a sigh.

»Don’t sulk. If that man’s intentions had been honourable in any way, he would not have played such a double game – engaging with this London lady while luring you on.«

»He hasn’t lured me on. That’s not what happened.«

»Then tell me what happened.« But what had happened was impossible to explain, from that first encounter when Sidney had mistaken her for Mary Parker’s new maid and forgotten her name within seconds, to those dreamlike moments up on the clifftop, when they had talked awkwardly about the weather and its influence on the next ball, trying to find a bridge to what was really on their minds. All she had to do was to close her eyes to hear him whisper »Charlotte …« again, and then feel that delightful, sensual touch on her lips. How to explain that to her dear Papa?

»I … I know that he has a past,« she carefully said. »But he has changed.«

»So now we have the reformed rake.« Mr Heywood shook his head. »You’re being manipulated by these people, Charlotte. Improving yourself … elevating your station … They are bringing ideas to your head that have no place there.«

»On the contrary, they have shown me …«

»Do not contradict me all the time, Charlotte. I’m your father.«

»But he has changed! When we went up to London after the cricket match, he opened up so much …«

»_Where _did you two go to?«

»London.« She could have slapped herself. This was a mistake. The tale of how they had chased through the darkest parts of London’s nightlife trying to rescue Georgiana from a real rake was not going to help her case.

»What did you have to do in London with this man?« her father consequentially asked.

»Well, we were … it was merely about Georgiana. She had … she was … she was having … troubles, and as her guardian …«

»You are not her guardian!«

»No, Sidney is. I’m her friend.«

Mr Heywood shook his head. »This is getting worse by the minute. I’m giving you tomorrow for saying good-bye, and for not making it appear as if I were rushing you away from some scandal, but then it’s back to Willingden. I sincerely regret ever letting you come here.«

I don’t feel regret, Papa, she thought, but she didn’t say. There was nothing left to say anyway. She had confessed to her impossible love story, and her father had taken the decision any sensible father would have taken. All she could do now was to hold her head high and cauterize her heart, as Sidney had done long time ago.

Back in the reality of the next morning, Georgiana was still searching for a way out. »Can we not run away?«

»Whereto?«

»We can go to Bristol and then sail on a ship to Antigua.«

»I doubt we’ll make it as far as Tunbridge«, Charlotte said with a sad smile.

»But if we run away, Sidney will have to follow us, and then he’ll miss the wedding.«

Tempting as it was, Charlotte shook her head. »No. No more scandal, no more uproar. I want this chapter closed.«

»I really hate your father.«

»You cannot hate people just because you don’t like what they are doing, Georgiana.«

»Always so sensible!«

Charlotte chuckled. »Well, if you are going to join me for a dip now, I’ll show you how wildly insensible I can be and swim out as far as I can.«

»You’ll never!«

»I will. I’ve been promising myself that I will do it one day, and today is the day.«

In fact, it was the perfect day for sea bathing, with no breeze at all, the water nearly as calm as the pond at home in Willingden, and the late summer sun rising clear and warm on a cloudless sky. Now, at mid-morning, life on the beach wasn’t as busy as it would be later in the afternoon, when the tide would change and lay bare Sanditon’s mud flat, the great playing field for children, cricketers and carriage drivers.

Charlotte and Georgiana walked arm in arm towards Mr Parker’s red bathing machines, forgetting for a moment their sorrows, giggling at the prospect of their dip and Charlotte’s daring plan. Charlotte was too busy enjoying the warm trickle of sunshine, the play of the sunbeams on the calm sea, to pay overmuch attention to what was going on around them, but Georgiana suddenly stopped dead. »Look who’s here.«

It was Sidney’s fiancée, of course, accompanied by a maid and walking up towards the closest bathing machine. »Shall we go back?« Georgiana whispered. Charlotte shook her head.

»I’m certainly not going to have my last sea bathing session spoiled by _that_ woman.« And smiling bright as the sunshine she had just been bathing in, she added. »Good morning, Mrs Campion.«

»Oh … Miss Heywood … Miss Lambe. Good morning.« Her voice was not as silver soft as usual.

»Finally trying sea bathing, Mrs C?« Georgiana inquired.

»Finally … yes.«

»Well then, enjoy yourself,« Charlotte said with a smile. – »That was strange,« she added a few moments later, when she and Georgiana were installed in their machine and waiting to be rolled into the sea. »She doesn’t appear to be that smug this morning.«

»Guess she’s afraid of water,« Georgiana giggled.

»Then why does she do it?«

Now Georgiana giggled even more. »Isn’t that obvious? The poor woman, with all her wealth and elegance … desperately trying to prove to Sidney Parker that she’s as brave as a farmer’s daughter who reads books.«

»Do you really think so?«

»Absolutely. Though of course when it comes to elegance, in those ghastly bathing costumes, we are all equal.« Now Charlotte had to laugh as well, quickly dispersing the idea of shedding her costume and bathing like the men did, like Sidney did.

The rolling stopped, the horse was being led away, and Georgiana pushed open the door. As always at the prospect of the sea widening up in front of her, Charlotte sighed happily. »Makes you want to embrace the whole world, doesn’t it?« she said to Georgiana.

»Not the whole world,« her friend replied, nodding towards the other bathing machine parked maybe fifty yards away from them. The lady emerging from it, clad in a burgundy coloured bathing costume, with a large cap on her head, for once did not look elegant and superior.

»Who wants to be petty on a day like this?« Charlotte laughed and ignoring the helpful hands of the two bathing attendants, dipped into the water. After weeks of stepping into the sea nearly every day, she was accustomed now to that wonderful cold shock that enfolded her every time for the first few seconds, and she was neither afraid of going under water nor of swimming away from the two attendants.

Georgiana was more cautious, hesitating as usual and finally going in with a lot of shrieking and moaning. She never moved far away from the bathing machine, holding tight to the rope or the hand of the attendant. This time, Charlotte turned her back on her, making good on her promise to swim out across the sea.

The wretched bathing costume was in her way, and some seaweed kept wrapping itself around her legs, but yet, she did enjoy herself, for once feeling free from ropes and rules, just moving to the rhythm of the calm sea underneath her. This was, she realised, as much as she would be able to share the men’s experiences. She turned around, waving at Georgiana, whose head kept bobbing up and down next to the bathing machine. Beyond her, the shoreline became visible, and beyond that, the narrow line of dunes, the roofs of the old Sanditon cottages, dwarfed by Tom Parker’s more elegant buildings. She would not forget that view, even if she was never to return to Sanditon.

Floating in the deep water, she moved her head to the right, towards the cliffs – and she would never forget the view from there, either – when she noticed something going on in front of her. Mrs Campion had moved several yards away from her bathing machine, which was quite reckless considering the fact that this was her first sea bathing experience. Maybe Georgiana was right, maybe she was trying to prove to her fiancé that she was in fact as brave as … Charlotte stopped. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. Mrs Campion was neither wading nor paddling nor swimming, she was panicking, wagging her arms in distress, thus making matters worse. If she swallowed seawater and went under, she would not come up again. The lead sewn into the hem of her bathing costume to keep the cloth down would make sure of that. Drowning on a windless day like this! Charlotte took a deep breath, dived towards her, and came up again. Where was the wretched woman? Had she gone under? From the corner of her eye she noticed the attendants wave and shout, and then Mrs Campion’s head came up, just two arm’s lengths away from her, only to go under immediately again. Charlotte dived once more, cursing her bathing costume, the lead in the hem, the impossibility of getting rid of it in the water. But there was Mrs Campion, or at least part of her, or part of her bathing costume. Charlotte, running out of breath, grabbed whatever she could reach of her and swam up to the surface, dragging whichever part of Mrs Campion behind her. It was the collar of her costume. Mrs Campion, panicking even more when she realised someone was holding her, lashed around, swallowed seawater again and went under once more, dragging Charlotte with her. That stupid, stupid woman! Charlotte let go of her, returned to the surface to get another breath and dived again. This time she got hold of her quickly, and this time Mrs Campion didn’t have enough strength to panic, she had lost consciousness and lay like a heavy log in Charlotte’s arms.

Charlotte tried to breathe regularly, and holding Mrs Campion tight and her head over water, paddled towards the shoreline. There were shouts and cries, and quite an uproar in the calm sea when people waded towards them. Someone lifted Mrs Campion from Charlotte’s arms, someone lifted Charlotte from the water. She heard her name being said, she heard voices cry for help, for blankets, for a doctor. »Is she alive?« she asked, blinded by the sun, the sand and the saltwater in her eyes.

»She is,« someone said, a female voice: Lady Babington, on all accounts.

»Good.« She closed her eyes and dipped into unconsciousness.


	8. Chapter 8

At the beginning, there was just a stretch of light, slowly growing wider. Concentrating on it, Charlotte realised that the light was the window, growing bigger as she opened her eyes. The window of her former room in Trafalgar House. Next to the window, between the table and her bed, was a chair, and on that chair sat her father, his cheeks wet, his hand covering hers. »Charlotte.«

»Papa,« she said, tasting salt and sand on her tongue.

»My darling daughter.«

She felt tears running down her own cheeks, and she couldn’t say why: Because her father was sitting by her bedside, calling her his darling daughter? Because she had nearly drowned, together with _that_ lady? Because her last adventure in Sanditon had gone so terribly, terribly wrong? Because it was not Sidney Parker who had gathered her up and carried her to Trafalgar House, but Lord Babington, conveniently having a morning walk on the beach with his lady?

There was a short knock on the door, and Mary Parker entered with Dr Fuchs in tow. »Ah, our young heroine _ist erwacht_,« the German doctor said in his slow and distinct manner, and »Oh, Charlotte, my dear!« Mrs Parker added. Now there were already three people around her bedside, staring at her in a rather emotional manner. Charlotte tried to sit up. »I’m quite alright. Just a bit dizzy.«

»We must make sure that you have not suffered a concussion of the brain,« the doctor said.

»I think I’ll just need a glass of water. How is Mrs Campion?«

»In shock, but otherwise unhurt.« Mrs Parker sat down by her bedside. »Oh Charlotte, my dear. You did save her life.«

»I don’t …«

»Yes, you did. Apparently, she lost hold on the ground when she moved into the deeper water, and then panicked. She was so lucky to have you close by.«

She was so stupid to have moved away from the attendants in the first place.

»I think I should like to sleep a little now,« Charlotte said, suddenly tired.

»Of course, my dear.« Mr Heywood leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. »Sleep. Tonight, we’ll pack, and tomorrow we’ll leave this horrible place for good.«

When she woke up again, there was only Mary Parker sitting by her bedside, no sign of her father or the doctor. »Oh Charlotte. You’re with us again.« There was so much affection in Mary’s smile that it nearly made Charlotte cry.

»Where’s my father?«

»He’s gone over to Mrs Griffiths to arrange everything for your journey tomorrow. Mrs Griffiths has sent some clothes for you, so if you like to join him … or join me for a cup of tea downstairs first …«

»I think I’ll rather join you.«

»Good. I’ll be waiting. Take your time, my dear.« She quickly touched Charlotte’s hand and moved out.

Trafalgar House, normally a place of children’s laughter and animated family discussions, was oddly quiet. The sun beamed in through the windows, the servants moved about in their usual silent and efficient manner, but apart from Mary, taking care of the tea pot when Charlotte entered the drawing room, there was no-one from the family around.

»Where is everybody?« she asked.

»Tom has been called out on business, and Arthur and Diana have taken the children to the beach. It still is a beautiful day, but the whole town has been in uproar, and I thought you might prefer some peace and quiet.«

»I do,« Charlotte confirmed, slowly sipping her tea, finally losing that salty taste in her mouth.

»Are you feeling quite restored?« Mary asked.

»I do. I think I do.«

»It must have been so terrible, out there in the water.«

»It happened so quickly … I don’t remember much of it.« They drank their tea in silence. Someone knocked on the outside door, and a few moments later, Sidney walked in, hat and cane in the one hand, a portfolio of papers in the other.

»Sidney!« Mary jumped up at the sight of her brother-in-law. »I didn’t expect to see you here so soon! How is Mrs Campion?«

»Recovering. – Miss Heywood.« He bowed to her. »This is only down to you. Mrs Campion has asked me to convey her deep gratitude for what you did for her, and I can only add my own thanks.«

»I …« Charlotte started, then realised that in fact the last thing she wanted was _that _lady’s gratitude.

»And you seem to have recovered from your ordeal,« he added.

»I think I have.«

»Good. I …« He paused, then remembered the portfolio in his hand, put it on the table and turned to Mary again. »Tom has just asked me to bring over these contracts. Please take good care of them until he returns. They are our life insurance.«

»Are they?« Mary, who had always kept away from the business side of her husband’s ventures, eyed them dubiously.

»Trust me. Now … I’m going for a walk and was wondering if there was anything you needed into town, Mary?«

»I thought I was going to join Arthur and Diana and the children on the beach,« Mary said. »Unless Charlotte, you …«

»Papa will be waiting for me at Mrs Griffiths’.«

»I ...« Sidney cleared his throat. »I could walk with you towards Mrs Griffiths’.« Charlotte felt her heart leap.

»Of course,« she managed to say.

»Go on then.« Mary sent them off with a smile.

They walked in silence, Charlotte realising that this was probably the very last time they would be together like this, the very last chance they had for making each other angry and making each other laugh. There was so much to say, and she could not think of a single word of it, until Sidney broke the silence: »The weather forecast for tomorrow is quite favourable.«

»Is it?«

»Yes. That is certainly of some consideration for your journey.«

»My father is so eager to leave Sanditon, I’m sure a thunderstorm would not keep him from travelling.«

»Ah.« And after a few moments of silence: »Are you … ahem … looking forward to seeing your brothers and sisters again?«

»Yes. Yes, I am.« (Though perhaps not as much as one would expect).

»Good.« He stared into the distance, for they had long passed the last houses of the town and were now on the path toward the clifftop.

»We seem not to be walking to Mrs Griffiths’,« Charlotte observed.

»Yes … your father is waiting for you – forgive me. What a fool I am.« He turned around. »Should we head back perhaps?«

»No. I have no urgency in seeing my father.« Though her father might in fact have some urgency in seeing her, especially if he knew whose company she was in. But if this was really their last time together, she wanted it to last. »A walk along the clifftop is much more to my liking.«

»Good. My thoughts exactly.« Sidney took a firm grip on the brim of his hat, nearly crushing the material. »I … er, I was hoping that we might find a moment when we could be alone together.«

»Were you?«

»Yes. Even before the events of today. Our conversation yesterday morning … I … I have been wondering for weeks now how to … ask for your forgiveness for the heartbreak I have caused you.«

»We both know why you had to do it.«

»Did I really have to? What kind of man would inflict the same kind of pain he has suffered on the one person he … he loves the most in the world?«

Charlotte stopped dead. »I … you don’t …«

»I said,« he repeated, unwavering now, searching her eyes, »that you are the person I love the most in the world, Charlotte Heywood. And I love you even more for the way you have been bearing this pain, for I know what a burden it is.«

Charlotte closed her eyes. This was too much. Of course, she had known this all along, but hearing him speak out what had been on her mind for weeks, seeing the love in his eyes, the distress in the lines of his face was too much to bear. He held her now, as he had done weeks ago on this path.

»Charlotte …«

»No!« She pulled away from him in the very last moment. »We can’t do this. You are going to marry Mrs Campion the day after tomorrow.«

»No, I’m not.«

»Of course you are.«

»I’m not. I’m not going to marry Mrs Campion. Neither the day after tomorrow, nor on any other day.«

»I … I don’t …« She took so many steps back that he caught her by the elbows to get her away from the cliff slope.

»This noon, Mrs Campion released me from our engagement.«

»I don’t understand.« And she really didn’t.

»Charlotte, you have humbled her. In every possible way. You refused to let yourself being defeated by her engagement to me, you stood up to her mockery, you stood up to Lady Denham, and in the end, when all that wasn’t enough, you dived into the sea and saved her life.«

»It was a very calm sea,« Charlotte felt compelled to say.

»And if it had been Willingden’s village pond … She’s not half the woman you are, and in the end, she saw it.«

»But … it’s only two days before the wedding! There’s bound to be a scandal!«

»That’s what Mrs Campion and I will have to endure. Take it as our mutual punishment for choosing money and vanity over love. My brother will be glad about the publicity, though.«

»And what about the investment? What about Sanditon?«

»That’s in the contracts I brought to Trafalgar House earlier. She’s going to take over Lady Denham’s investment, but it’s not bound to a promise of marriage any longer. It’s a thank you for saving her life.« Finally, the truth trickled in.

»So you’re free.«

»More or less …« He drew her closer to him. »Considering that I have been caught by you for quite a while now.« This made her laugh.

»Whatever Lady Denham says … I never set out to Sanditon in order to find a husband.«

»But you’ve found yourself one now. – That is,« he let go of her arms, went down on his knees and took her hands, »that is, Miss Heywood, if after all this blundering, you’ll accept me.«

She looked down on his handsome face, his dark eyes gazing at her expectantly, his lips slightly opened, the shadow of his beard a bit too visible as always. »Is this really true?« she whispered.

»If you want it to be, Charlotte.«

»Yes. Yes, I want it to be true, Sidney.« He was up on his feet again, enfolding her in his embrace, bending his head and kissing her, returning that delightful, sensual touch to her lips that had never left her memory during the past weeks. And as they knew now how bitter a parting tasted, they both made that kiss linger, and even afterwards they held each other closely, not moving, listening to the seagulls’ cries above them, to the wind blowing mildly ashore.

So this was what Mary had meant on the day of the fateful ball, when Charlotte had asked her how to know who was the right one and her reply had been »One just does«. She had known for weeks, in fact even before that first clifftop walk, before the regatta and before the dance at Mrs Maudsley’s. One just does.

»Penny for your thoughts, Charlotte.« He was still looking at her, with eyes as soft as treacle and a smile that made her want to touch his lips again.

»Nothing and everything. I ... oh dear.« She broke away. »This will not do! My father is never going to approve of it. He thinks you’re a rake, and that you’ll lose interest in me very quickly.« He didn’t allow her to back away, holding her tight.

»I cannot blame him. But what do _you_ think?«

»I think that … a good marriage should be based on mutual love and affection, and that we both own enough of that.« She touched his face, as she had longed to do for such a long time. »And I think that … you might have been a rake once. But that was years ago, when your heart was broken. The man I met was not a rake. He was just very angry, mostly at himself, and he channelled that anger in ways that were hurtful to others.«

»To you, you mean. I’m sorry for that, especially when I think that everything you said back on the balcony about my brothers has turned out to be true. And, in Tom’s case, was the cause for such pain to you.« He kissed her again, asking for forgiveness once again. »I’m never going to lose interest in you,« he said. »Not as long as you have ideas and opinions of your own and argue them with me. Not as long as we can make each other angry and make each other laugh.«

»I just don’t think that is going to convince Papa.«

»We’ll give it a try. In the worst case,« he chuckled, »I’ll have to abduct you and take you to Scotland after all.«

They slowly walked back towards the beach, sharing their thoughts, their memories, their smiles and sometimes a kiss, enjoying every moment of this long sought and delightful intimacy. Had he really forgotten her name the moment after Mary introduced her? (Shamefully: Yes. But only because he had been distracted by his own blundering – new maid indeed! – and her cool, open gaze).

And had she actually cheered for Mr Stringer at the boat race? (Absolutely without shame: Yes, of course, because at that moment, Sidney had not deserved better).

And was she ever going to forgive him for shouting her down in the middle of the street after he had found Georgiana in Otis’ company? (Probably, but only if he forgave her for making publicly fun of him and his smoking habits).

What would have happened in Mrs Griffiths’ drawing room the day before if Mr Heywood had not walked in? »I don’t know,« Sidney admitted. »I was in such a state after Tom came to see me and ask for my forgiveness ... I had a mind to bundle you up and take you to Scotland.« He chuckled. »But I somehow trusted on your good senses to reject such a scheme.«

»Only there wasn’t much left of my good senses then.«

»Oh my dearest Charlotte. I have a feeling it will be hard to make up for what I sent you through.« She stopped and looked up at him, taking in the regret on his face.

»Don’t, Sidney,« she said. »I don’t want us to start on a note of guilt and reparation. I want us to start as we are, equal in mind and disposition. Just promise me that you’ll never expect me to become a great fashionable lady, and that you’ll never suppress my ideas.«

»I promise,« he whispered and drew her close to him again. »And you are a lady already.«


	9. Chapter 9

It was ebb tide now, the mud flats stretching out far towards the horizon in the light of the low-standing afternoon sun. The beach was busy, with tents put up in front of the dunes, children playing and running around and the heavy silhouettes of the bathing machines lurking in the distance. They passed a group of young men playing cricket, and they heard Fred Robinson cry out: »Now look at that, Young Stringer! Seems as if someone’s finally had a more substantial conversation.«

»I’m glad_ he_ never made his move,« Sidney said.

»He did, but I was too preoccupied to notice,« Charlotte replied.

»So I had a narrow escape here?«

»Not so narrow. I would have turned him down, even though back then I would not have understood the reason.« She waved at Mr Stringer, who with a smile waved back. »He’s been a good friend in times when I needed one.«

»I’ll have to make sure he’s commissioned with all our building contracts as soon as he is an architect,« Sidney said. »Provided that by then, he stops smiling at you like that.«

An elegant gig came driving towards them, the wheels splashing in the mud, stopping just in front of them in a rather daring manoeuvre. »I thought it had to be you,« Lord Babington said, taking the reins from his wife. »I’m pleased to see you fully recovered, Miss Heywood.«

»Thank you, Lord Babington. And thank you for carrying me to Trafalgar House this morning.«

»No reason to thank me, Miss Heywood. I’m glad I was of any help at all. And it looks as if Sidney has finally managed to end his conversation with you?«

»He has.« Charlotte smiled, even when Lady Babington raised her eyebrows.

»Don’t engage in marriage, Miss Heywood, it is not a recommendable state.«

»Are you serious?« her husband asked.

»Sure. It’s an endless succession of carriage rides and morning walks, sometimes suspended by a mermaid popping up on the beach.«

»Well, I distinctly remember you, my dear, telling me that you believed Sidney and Mrs C left us early back on the estate because the lady couldn’t bear our marital bliss anymore, having to put up with a sulking fiancé herself.«

»Did I? I must have been talking in my sleep.« She took the reins from him away and sent the carriage rolling, getting faster and faster, sending mud and water all over the place.

»I’m certainly not an expert on the matter,« Sidney said, shaking his head. »But I cannot pretend to understand the workings of this particular marriage.«

»Neither can I,« Charlotte agreed. »But will you teach me how to drive?«

»Oh! There is something the ubiquitous Miss Heywood does not know?«

»Will you?«

He was smirking now. »And watch you and Lady Babington drive races at the next Sanditon regatta? I’d be mad if I would.«

»Equal partners, you promised. - I’ll reconsider my answer,« she said, pretending to turn away from him. He caught up with her quickly.

»I’m not going to get disengaged twice on one day. And I’m going to teach you everything. – _Everything_ you want to know, Charlotte,« he added in a way that made her realise that this »everything« would comprise matters far, far beyond from driving a carriage.

»Alright,« she said, trying not to sound too meek. He took her arm again, leading her now towards the dunes where the lady of the town was presiding under a white tent. She was alone, only attended to by a servant, no niece, no nephew, no fortune-hunters around her.

»Lady Denham.« Sidney bowed to her, and so did Charlotte.

»Mr Parker. – Miss Heywood. You have made quite a spectacle on the beach this morning, I understand. There hasn’t been such a talk up and down the South Coast since that girl fell off the Cobb at Lyme.«

»I don’t recall that particular incident, ma’am,« Charlotte admitted.

»No. Didn’t expect you to.« Looking from Charlotte to Sidney and back again, she added: »So, you finally have found yourself a fine rich husband?«

Charlotte straightened her back and lifted her chin. »No, Ma’am. I have found a partner, equal to myself and bound to me by love, affection and a shared spirit. Good day, ma’am.«

»That’s how it started, isn’t it?« Sidney said after a few moments when they had walked on. »With you being spirited enough to tell me some unpleasant assumptions about my brothers.«

»No, it started with you being spirited enough to ask a young girl of no experience for her opinion.« Charlotte smiled, and Sidney laughed.

»My dearest Charlotte … When did you stop thinking of me as a monstrous brute?«

»I’m not sure. I believe it has been coming on so gradually that I was in the middle of it before I knew what was going on. « – And after a second: »When did you stop thinking of me as a girl that had learnt nothing and been nowhere?«

»You will blush when I tell you.«

Now he didn’t have to tell her. She blushed anyway. »Oh.«

»I got terribly drunk that night. Didn’t make it up to my room and slept on a bench in the bar. – I knew I had embarrassed you to no end, and yet, it never came to my mind to apologize to you. And when it finally did, after Old Stringer’s accident, I simply had to admire your quick-wittedness.«

»Let’s say that your valiant efforts helped to improve my opinion of you, and close that chapter,« Charlotte said, as Mrs Griffiths and her charges came into view. The governess had chosen a spot close to the dunes for her company and was, as always, bathing in the sunshine as well as in the Reverend’s attentions.

»Have you recovered, Miss Heywood?« she inquired.

»I have, thank you, Mrs Griffiths.«

The Reverend cleared his throat. »Am I right to understand, sir, that there is no wedding to be held this Saturday?«

»You are. At least, not this Saturday, and not with the same lady.« The Beaufort girls blushed and giggled, while Georgiana stood up and confronted Sidney as usual. »What are your intentions with Charlotte?«

»My intentions? My intentions, Georgiana, are to make Miss Heywood my wife, as soon as that is legally possible, to set up a house here in Sanditon and to make her very happy. And to have you come and live with us. If you wish, that is.« For a moment, Georgiana was staring at him blankly, silenced after weeks of rebellion.

»You want me to live with you?« she finally repeated. »But I … I thought I was a burden to you.«

»Maybe I was more of a burden to myself,« he softly said. »So, Mrs Griffiths. I daresay there will be some changes in our arrangements over the next few weeks.«

»That is … that is not so inconvenient, sir,« the governess said, blushing and glancing at the Reverend, who read in his Bible, holding the book upside down. The Beaufort girls giggled again, and Georgiana embraced Charlotte and whispered: »You were so brave this morning. And maybe after today I don’t hate him that much anymore.«

»Thank you,« Charlotte whispered back. – »That was very kind of you,« she added, when Sidney had taken her arm again and led her on.

»It has taken me quite a while though to understand that she needs a family, not a warden,« he admitted. »Does she still mention Otis?«

»Not since my father has arrived. He’s been the perfect distraction.«

»So there’s hope that she’s over him.« Sidney chuckled, then stopped when a small soldier came running towards him, wielding a wooden sword. »Uncle Sidney, Uncle Sidney!«

He let go of Charlotte’s arm, gathered little Henry up, threw him in the air and caught him again, his nephew shrieking with joy. It made Charlotte smile and think of the day when they had played at the river, when the children’s boats had given her the idea for the regatta and when, for the first time, she had not argued or quarrelled with Sidney, but felt that perhaps, there was something between them worth exploring. She looked at him, saw him smile and knew that he cherished the same memory. »We have rewritten our history,« she softly said when he carried Henry up to the tent where the Parker family had gathered, adopting Mr Crowe into their midst and, courtesy of Miss Parker, treating him with advice on his drinking habits.

But all that was irrelevant when the Parkers saw who was coming towards them. Mary broke into the broadest possible smile, Arthur dropped his cake, Diana simply fell silent in the middle of a word, Mr Crowe raised his hip flask and Tom jumped up, knocked over a stand with glasses and a tray with biscuit rolls, stepped on someone’s hand, shoved his daughters out of the way and ran towards them, taking their hands, crying: »Sidney! Charlotte! Is it true? Do my eyes not deceive me? Have you …?«

»Easy, brother,« Sidney warned him, then, addressing everyone: »Charlotte will be making me the honour of becoming my wife.«

This started a general uproar of sighing and hugging, with Mr Crowe distinctly overheard saying »To the future Mrs Sidney Parker, her beauty and spirit« and Tom Parker leaving his brother’s shoulder a little wet once he stopped hugging him. »Charlotte,« he solemnly declared, »I’m so glad that I can welcome you officially into our family now. And that on a day like this when once again, you have saved Sanditon.«

»I have only helped Mrs Campion.«

»No, no no no no, my dear. Just imagine, if she had drowned! That would have been the end of our sea-bathing and our utter, complete ruin. – But: You saved us, my dear sister. Wading into the sea, fearless like a young goddess, plucking Mrs C from the waves …«

»It was actually a very calm morning,« Charlotte said, and »Thank you, Tom,« Sidney added. »Now we have a very clear picture. – We were in fact hoping to find Mr Heywood here.«

»Oh. Yes of course, your father, Charlotte. He’ll be delighted, will he not?«

»That is what we are trying to ensure,« Sidney said quickly, taking Charlotte‘s arm again. »So do you know where he is?«

»Your friend, Charlotte, has taken him for a walk.« Tom signalled towards the mud flats, where, in some distance, the silhouettes of a lady and a gentleman could be made out.

»My friend?«

»Lady Susan, and blessed be the day when you met her.«

While Charlotte did in fact bless the day she had met her, she couldn’t help but wonder whether her friend would work another miracle on her father. It seemed too much to ask for, after a day so full of miracles. Even Sidney fell silent by her side as they crossed the mud flats.

Lady Susan and Mr Heywood stopped walking, the lady even raising her arm and greeting them from a distance. »What am I to expect?« Sidney asked. »A dressing down? A summoning to a duel with pistols?«

»Oh, we only shoot at rabbits in Willingden,« Charlotte assured him. »So he’ll probably try to drown you in the ditch.«

»Now you’re boosting my confidence, Charlotte.«

»Just be yourself. – Your best self, your truest self,« she added with a smile, and that, in fact, did boost his confidence – or at least made the smile return to his face as well.

»My dear girl!« Lady Susan greeted her. »What an adventure! But you have come through unscathed, as I see, and all the more shining.«

»Have you recovered, Charlotte?« Mr Heywood said, ignoring Sidney.

»I’m fine, Papa. It was only water.«

»Only water! The North Sea!«

»I can swim.«

»Enough of this nonsense, anyway. Tomorrow by this time, we’ll be home, and we’ll forget this sorry episode.« This was Sidney’s cue.

»Actually, sir, I was …«

Mr Heywood stared at him, apparently noticing him for the first time. »I thank you for keeping my daughter company, Mr Parker, but now that she’s with me, I daresay she’s in no further need of it.«

»I was actually going to say, sir, that I intend to keep Charlotte company for a lot longer. For a lifetime, that is.«

»Well said, Mr Parker,« Lady Susan applauded. »Charlotte, I’m so pleased for you. See how it all worked out in the end?«

»I don’t see anything working out,« Mr Heywood said. »How could I consent to giving my daughter to … to …« He looked Sidney up and down, as if trying to get the measure of him. »I understand you have been engaged to a Mrs Campion until very recently, Mr Parker.« There was no point in denying what was obviously the talk of the town.

»That is true, sir.«

»So if you were in my place, would you give your daughter to a man who ends one engagement in the morning and enters the next in the afternoon?« Sidney let some moments elapse before answering.

»No, sir,« he finally said. »But then I would also not want any child of mine – or any other person, for that matter – to go through the kind of pain Charlotte had to suffer.«

»Hmmph,« Mr Heywood made. This was apparently not the answer he had expected. Then, abruptly, he changed tactics: »You do realise, Mr Parker, that Charlotte has eleven siblings, and that each of them will be turning up on your doorstep, expecting you to take them in and bring them out into polite society.«

»Only eleven,« Sidney calmly said. »I thought there were fourteen. Lady Denham must have been mistaken about the number.«

»And she can be very difficult. She’s brave, and extremely good with children, but also too headstrong and opinionated at times.«

»Is she?« Sidney was now positively smirking. »I have always found her to be a most inspiring partner in conversation.«

Mr Heywood sighed. »Is there anything I can say that would make you go off her?«

Sidney shook his head. »No, sir. But I value the great concern you have about Charlotte’s welfare, and I solemnly promise that this concern is mine as well.« At this, Mr Heywood gave in.

»So be it.«

»Papa!« Charlotte hung around his neck. »Thank you, Papa. Thank you.«

»No reason for more uproar, child. Go with your lady friend, while I’m having a more private conversation with Mr Parker.«

Lady Susan welcomed her with open arms. »Oh, my dear girl. I’m so glad that it did all work out in the end.«

»But what did you say to Papa?«

»This and that. That a good man shouldn’t be condemned for one terrible mistake. That you will become Mrs Parker, whether he likes it or not, and that he was in danger of losing not only you, but the good opinion of your mother, your siblings and the whole village of Willingden, if he did not allow you to make such a fine match.«

»I cannot believe that you did all this … invite me to London … make Sidney move the wedding to Sanditon … make Papa consent … I even start thinking it was you who convinced Mrs Campion of trying sea bathing in the first place.«

»I might have mentioned yesterday at the ball how much I believed it became you, and how I admired your bravery. Maybe I even extorted Mr Parker’s opinion on the matter, but I cannot remember exactly. – See, Charlotte, my dear. Didn’t I tell you? In love and in war, a first defeat never indicates what the final outcome will be.«

»Yet it would never have happened without you.«

»Who knows? There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart. This was bound to end in perfect happiness for you, my dear.«

Tempting as it is to dwell on this perfect happiness, I feel that now is the moment to leave Sanditon behind. I have no doubt that Sidney and Charlotte were married as soon as the scandal of Mrs Campion’s broken engagement had died down, and that the Reverend Mr Hankins held a most touching sermon on the occasion, likening their love to another flower garden that needed careful tending, making Mrs Griffiths blush and the Beaufort girls giggle.

I also have no doubt that with the success of Sanditon ensured, Tom Parker found several other schemes in which to lose his fortune, causing distress to his dearest wife time and again, and calling more than once on the affection, forbearance and financial support of his more sensible brother.

As to their siblings, I believe that Arthur and Diana gladly suffered many more happy cases of biliousness, sunstroke or whatever was the illness-en-vogue, and that they lead comfortable and long lives together, bemoaning their delicate constitutions, always keeping a toast fork on the fire and a glass of wine ready, entertaining their growing number of nephews and nieces, and never missing a ball, no matter how ill they were.

I also like to think that Mr Stringer, when he returned from London as a fully trained architect, was commissioned by Tom to build Sanditon’s Fountain Square. I have no doubt that on some occasion, he made the acquaintance of Charlotte’s sister Alison, and that he found her to be a very amiable young lady with fine brown eyes and nearly as much spirit as her sister, but less of the drama, and more ready to understand his attempts at substantial conversations.

And I think that Georgiana, when coming of age, finally understood that hating people just because she didn’t like what they were doing was not going to add to her own happiness. I trust that in some quiet moment she then walked up to the cliff top and cast the medallion with Otis’ likeness into the waves, and that, fond of dancing as she was, Arthur Parker one day handed her over to a partner more worthy of her affection than her first love.

And I believe that after drinking many more tumblers of sea water and throwing many more horrible luncheon parties, Lady Denham died alone and unloved in her great house, and that by that time, Esther had long since admitted to herself, the world and Lord Babington that her greatest wealth was not the fortune that she was to inherit from her aunt, but her husband’s unwavering love and affection.

I’m less sure about what became of Mr Crowe. I do hope that with the good examples of his settled friends in front of him, his good senses prevailed at some stage over his drinking habits, but that is a mere hope.

As to _that_ lady, I believe that eventually, the blow her vanity had suffered from a farmer’s daughter who read books healed, and that, in good and perfect time, she found herself a handsome new husband with a title and an estate and a less unpredictable family.

With Lady Susan, I trust, Charlotte always remained on the most intimate terms, and I’m sure that at one of the many Sanditon regattas to follow, Tom Parker had the triumph of welcoming her ladyship’s most particular London friend among his noble beau monde guests.

When it comes to Sidney and Charlotte, I see them in many ways.

I see them sharing a kiss over their firstborn child, I see them crying about the tragedies that even for them, life inevitably held in store. I see them at the heart of their families and friends, planning and projecting, expanding themselves, leaving their marks on the world and improving the lives of those dear to them. I also see them arguing, even quarrelling at times, for that was in their natures, but then I see them reconciled again, cherishing each other’s company, quietly admitting that they were their best selves, their truest selves when they were together.

And through a very distant lens, I see them walking down to the cove once more, towards a setting sun, swimming out far across the sea, vanishing from our views into the horizon.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in a rush and in a language that is not my mother tongue: apologies for any mistakes.  
***  
Thank you for all your comments and feedback. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this story and I hope to share some of the pleasure.


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